Monday's Miscellany

Here is a super quick update on the weekend's events:

Brunch:

Saturday's brunch went beautifully.  We had a full house, a table and kitchen and wet bar full of food, and there was a lot of laughter all around.  We were blessed.  There is something priceless about friends and family enjoying one another's company, for no reason other than to fellowship.  Sam said as we were cleaning up, "It seems like this was something everyone wanted to have happen, but didn't know it until they were all here."  That is exactly the way I felt, as well.

I had fully intended to take pictures, but I got caught in the kitchen making waffles, and had overslept (waking up--I kid you not--only 15 minutes before the first guests arrived) so I didn't get a chance to even take pictures of the spread as it went out.  So you will just have to imagine what our house full of 20-some-odd adults, plus a handful of very small children, and a rather excited greyhound, was like.  I do hope to give it another go before too much time goes by; next time I'll get pictures. 

Halloween:

The work that went into Saturday was pretty exhausting for me, and with Lizzie's cold still hanging on (fortunately today she is better), I opted to stay home from church.  So Sunday was a pleasant day of being decidedly lazy.  Besides that, I think I had a touch of food poisoning from some old spinach, and was not interested in fighting through church with something evil like that. 

Since Sunday was also Halloween, we got a call from a friend who has a boy just 6 weeks younger than Lizzie, asking if we wanted to join them at the Harvest Fest that our church used to host.  We were game, so we packed up and went after Lizzie had a good nap.  (I was feeling better, having apparently beaten the food poisoning bug.)

I hadn't planned on dressing Lizzie up, so she got to wear a hand-me-down outfit of a cat in a jack-o-lantern, and she was thrilled because she just learned how to say 'pumpkin'.  It was appropriately festive, and she pointed out the cat and the pumpkin (pumpim) to anyone who asked about it.  I will try to get a picture up before too long, but I don't think it will go up tonight.  Check back later. :)

Monday:

Yep, Monday struck again.  I spent nap time checking in on the online world, and naptime was exceedingly short.  No, really, it was really short, like only 50 minutes instead of two hours.  So the afternoon went just great.  But I made dinner, we ate dinner, Sam cleaned up dinner, and we watched Dancing With the Has-Beens until it ended just a little while ago. 

And now it is time to go to sleep.  So that I can get up early for once, and get a jump on the day.  And maybe write a blog post with a little brain power attached. 

And go vote.

Vulnerability, briefly

We did not go to our home group meeting tonight. We normally try to. It's a little tricky with a toddler who hasn't learned to survive in another room without direct view of Mommy. We end up dividing and conquering: one parent stays in the group discussion, and one parent stays in the play room. One day it will change. One day I'll be able to follow a train of thought. Right?

Our home group (or small group, care group, life group, cell group, study group... whatever you want to call the collection of people from church who meet in a home in the middle of the week for prayer, discussion and fellowship--and usually light snacks) is a wonderful blessing. There is nothing like it to make you feel more like you are part of a family in a church. Even when nothing ground breaking or profound is revealed or accomplished, our being together somehow strengthened one another. We pray about what is going on in our lives. We share what God is doing with us, what He's saying to our hearts, where He's pointing out the places we need our selfishness to die so His grace has room to live.

There is a level of accountability in meeting regularly with believers.

Accountability is something I have trouble with. I don't usually have trouble sharing where I have trouble. That's not hard for me. It's close to complaining. It's actually close to admitting defeat. "Oh, I can't. I'm a terrible person. Maybe next time I can do better."

Honesty is not hard for me.

I can tell you what I have had trouble with. I can tell you all the things I am afraid of. I can tell you where I struggle, where I am not measuring up, where I have felt conviction, and even whether I have responded or not. Accountability is easy when I set the bar really low. I've already decided what I would tell you, where I will let you in, how much of my shield I will let you think you have seen behind. It keeps me safe, and sets up the facade of being "real" and personal.

Now, what is hard for me is vulnerability.

Being vulnerable is letting you in on my process. The process is not defined, clear cut, or neat. The process is actually raw and messy. It hurts. It is the unknown.

The process requires faith. And my faith, while real, is not always stellar. Because sometimes I am afraid that what I'll see when I start opening up is really something hideously selfish. Something pitifully faithless. Deceitfully immature.

And sometimes the vulnerability that is necessary for real accountability has nothing to do with faithlessness, but hopefulness. And hope can be something frightening to share. Because hope sometimes seems so precious and beautiful, almost so exquisite that it is fragile. Attempting to express it sometimes turns a delicate orchid into what looks a Play-Doh replica. And hopes, dreams, callings, goals, all have great potential - to soar or to plummet.

So recently as I have considered this in my heart, accountability is not to me something about saying "I failed at this and that," rather it is about growing, attempting, and setting forth, and inviting you in to my process, in faith.

(I'm linking to Steady Mom's 30-minute Blog Challenge. I think I may have slid over the time limit last time, because I kept getting interrupted and had to compensate for it. R-i-g-h-t.)

Bloggy Versatility

Versatile, huh? I don't know about that, but I'll take it.

I was just awarded with the Versatile Blogger, a peer award, though the one who awarded it to me is hardly my peer. And I mean that in the best sense--she is my mother. Yes, yes, moms do tend to award for unnecessary things ("best pancake mixer" and "fastest Lego picker-upper" or "quietest at the library"), but I appreciate her nomination of my blog to join in this love-fest. I think she means it, because otherwise I don't think she would have put my name up there with the highly intelligent bloggers she listed herself. Thanks, Mom! It's my first blog award! Don't worry, I won't let it go to my head.

For those of you who do not know, my mom, Meg Moseley, is an actual novelist. Meaning she has sold a book! When Sparrows Fall will hit the presses in May 2011, and I hope you look it up. Several months ago she allowed me to read one of the many drafts, and I was begging her for further installments as I flew through the chapters she gave me. It is a great story and I enjoyed all of it--I really couldn't wait to find out how it ended!

Since I don't participate in these very often, er, more like never, I'm excited about the idea. Here is how this blog fest works.

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Share seven things about yourself.
3. Pass on the award to up to fifteen deserving bloggers.
4. Contact the bloggers you chose for the award.

Alrighty, rule #1, check. Now, #2.

1. When I have a spare hour (which I do more because I am a procrastinator, not because I get work done so that I can play), I am more likely to sit down with a sudoku puzzle than an actual book. But I have to wait until Sunday for a new puzzle in the newspaper because the lame county paper that is delivered free only comes on Sundays.

2. My favorite sound is my 15 month old jabbering about whatever goes through her little head. I don't know what it is about, but it is very serious, and sounds a lot like, "Ieeeeez ein, nnnn ha einnnah, hey ahy aye-aye, nud da da!" What can I say? She's so smart.

3. If you asked me where I want to go to eat and I had full freedom to name any place at all, without deferring to anyone else (which is rarely), I would almost inevitably say, "Five Guys Burgers & Fries" for one of their "little cheeseburgers." Their "little" burgers are normal sized burgers. Their "hamburgers" are two hamburger patties. And they don't charge anything extra for any topping you could ask for on your burger. Their fries are worth every penny, too, especially because they not only fill a Styrofoam cup heaping with fries, they fill it up, dump it into your paper bag, and then refill the cup and put it in the bag upside down. That's even when you order a small fry. It seems so generous, even though potatoes are like the cheapest thing in the world to give away. That's part of why I love them so.

4. I have a cowlick in my hairline on my forehead, which I got from my mom (thanks, Mom), and apparently I passed on to my daughter (you can thank me later, Liz). This makes anything a hairstylist would think of doing with my hair kind of a disaster. At least that's what I get for going to places that charge less than $15 for a hair cut.

5. There is a horrible stingy, rationing side to me. Yes, that's helpful when you're trying to save money or be creatively frugal with leftovers. But it comes out as meanness. "No, you can't eat that bacon as a snack! What if I were going to make BLTs for lunch tomorrow?!" That's well and good, but I usually say something like that when there is neither L nor T in the house.

6. By the time I was 16, our household and/or yard had hosted 1 horse, 1 dog, 12 pigs for 4-H, 10 rabbits (well, first there were 2; you know how that goes), 2 cockatiels, 2 parakeets (OK, the 'keets were my brother's), and 7 cats. This may have had something to do with us homeschooling. If I remember right, we called it 'animal husbandry' if all we did that day was pick up our pigs for fair.

7. It's after 3 PM and I am drinking coffee right now, even though last time I did this I didn't sleep well until after 2:40 AM. But that also had something to do with toddler canines breaking through toddler gums. Hence, more coffee.

8. I can't stand that when you type "gums" it says it is spelled incorrectly. Even the computer should know that the pink flesh that your teeth live in is called your gum, and you really should be able to pluralize it. OK, this one was a freebie.


Now rule #3. I will pass this on to a few blog friends. The last thing I want to do is to pressure these folks into any kind of "chain blogging" trap, but I'm giving The Versatile Blogger to these particular blogs because I follow them, and I think they're cool.

1 - Magen @ evangeline - This is one of the sweetest, most peaceful and honest blogs on the web. And Magen makes beautiful hand-crafted clothes, hair clips, and accessories. I "ooh and ahh" at the items in her store.

2 - Rachel Anne @ Home Sanctuary - I don't know how I stumbled upon this blog, but I have followed her for at least a couple of years. And I join the gals for her Friday "Company Girl Coffee" when Fridays and my blogging coincide.

3 - Pop @ Go, Pop, Go! - His blog is truly versatile, because he covers being a dad (Pop), working out, making food (though sometimes more often he talks about food than about working out. hmm....), and flipping off the things he can definitely do without, which is balanced on another day by things he is thankful for.

4 - Bethie @ Bethie at home - I love Beth, and she loves Jesus and her family and her friends, and she tells great stories, and her chili recipe is the best. You will have to go through the archives to November 2009 for her crock pot chili recipe, but I promise it is totally worth it.

5 - Alicia @ Alicia's Homemaking - This girl amazes me. Really, you have to look at her blog, because if she didn't have photos to prove it, I wouldn't believe that she really has a baby, a husband, a neat apartment, an exercise routine, homework that she finishes, a budget she keeps, homemade food she prepares, a blog she maintains, and friends that she actually relates to regularly. I'm thinking she might have a twin she's not telling us about, who does her slave labor.

6 - Keith & Patricia @ Wednesday Wisdom - This is a collection of parenting wisdom, and it is written by the parents of friends. Their words can be taken seriously because they have 6 kids, and all of them are normal, healthy, productive members of society, for the glory of God.

7 - Joyce @ Keeping up with the Moys - We started following each other's blogs after "meeting" via Company Girl Coffee. We were both pregnant with our little Chinese babies, due within a month of each other. If we didn't live on opposite sides of the country (almost), we would surely be in play group together. If she had time.

8 - Elisa @ The Not So Pharaoh Farrows - Elisa is adorable; I met her when she was a wee camper and I was a young staff/counselor at camp. Now she and her husband have just been married for a year, and they are an adorable couple, who have brave and caring hearts. Her blog is beautiful and cute.

So, have at it, guys. You're all versatile, and award-worthy in my eyes. **golf clap - because Liz is asleep on the other side of this wall**

Now, on to rule #4.

The Weeks Go On

It's been a week since I wrote.

The Ladies Book Day was a great success. My presentation went very well, and with a little scrambling and a couple of phone calls to my brother (who works the audio/video most Sundays at church), the PowerPoint made it to the projector screen. Everyone was mucho impressed by my technical skills, just because I made a bunch of slides. So because I did that, the woman organizing the women's retreat next month asked me to find out about whether it's possible to record speaking sessions. Like I know? So now I have to ask some other people who actually know and report back to her.

The possibility of making it to the retreat next month is becoming much more real. Lizzie is just about down to nursing only twice a day--first thing in the morning, and last thing before bed (except brushing teeth.... usually). This has to do with the retreat in that I can drive up in the morning, stay for the day, and then come home, and not have to worry about Sam having a total disaster on his hands.

This week she dropped the mid-day feeding, and has been drinking whole milk from the sippy cup. OK, really, she's drinking flavored yogurt smoothies mixed in with her milk from the sippy cup, but still! We're making progress. And as the day goes on and she drinks more and needs refills, I add more milk so the flavored yogurt to milk ratio goes down. I don't think we're totally there, though, because today she was having a really rough afternoon, and begged to nurse before going down for her nap. Of course, darling. She is cutting more teeth; she has 12, and is apparently working on the canines (eye teeth) that have to come in between the front and the molars. So I have a feeling these are the worst, because not only do they have to come through, but they have to push between the other teeth that are already there - possibly bringing pain not unlike having orthodontic braces adjusted. My poor baby; no wonder she hasn't been sleeping as well.

Sam had a 3rd interview with the company that he's been talking with. There are still no solid signs that they're ready to hire him, but at least they keep calling him back! We're now praying that they offer him a job, and offer him the one we want: without travel. Hopefully we'll hear more next week.

Tomorrow is the last week of our Believing God Bible Study. It has been fantastic. This is the first time I have actually done every single day of homework, and filled in all the blanks. This is the third time I have attempted this particular study, and the first time I have made it past week 6 or 7. I have never made it to the last week. I am processing what has happened in me, so maybe I will manage to articulate it better in another post. Or maybe I won't have to; maybe the coming months will just show a more active faith. Maybe you'll watch me take God at his word, and see fruit along with me.

Actually, this week has started something pretty amazing in regard to faith and believing that 'God's Word Is Alive and Active In Me' (point 5 in the pledge of faith from the study we've done). For almost 2 years I have been a part of an online forum of women; it is set up for pregnant women who are due in a particular month. They compare symptoms, issues, hormones, questions, doctors appointments, and birth plans. Then their babies are born and the forum stays there for women to discuss everything under the sun pertaining to their labor and delivery, feedings, parenting, the cute things their babies do, and life as a mom. They joke, cry, tell stories, and share a bond of motherhood. I depended on them to "get" me when I had questions, concerns, and experiences to share while I was pregnant and a new mom.

This forum has been remarkable; there is nothing that can be a breeding ground for more drama than a bunch of overtired, hormonal, insecure women on the internet. However, by some amazing miracle, there are at least a couple hundred women who are part of one particular month's forum, and there is a depth of understanding and respect that is hugely unexpected and unusual. At the moment, there is a discussion started when one Christian woman asked one Orthodox Jewish woman, out of pure curiosity and desire to understand, about her faith and practice. It has nearly 100 responses, and every one of them has been thoughtful, respectful, and beautiful. Following that discussion, a thread has opened up a place where the Jewish woman has asked, 'what is your religion?' and well over 100 women have also shared their particular perspectives and stances on faith, religion, and how it affects each one's own life. Through all of it, every one has been careful, honest, and purely offering her own view. There is no name-calling, no defensiveness, and no drama. I am honored to be among such strong and dear women.

In the course of the religion discussion, I befriended one of the women who is in a stage of seeking. She's on the verge of believing; she wants to trust the Lord. I am praying for her, and doing my best to encourage her to look to Jesus, and read the Bible. So far she has been greatly encouraged and comforted by the scriptures I have shared with her. My prayer is that she will come to know Jesus truly, and will have her eyes opened to the truth, discerning any lies for what they are. Besides the joy of knowing that someone is so close to trusting Jesus, I have so enjoyed having a passion in my heart to share the truth of the Gospel. It is not hard. The Word is alive in my heart, and with the Holy Spirit at work, drawing her to the Lord, it is the easiest thing to find the verses that come to my mind while I type. It's easy to have faith when I pray. It's easy because I know that God is involved. It's not me trying my hardest. I am not arguing, just opening the word via links on biblegateway.com and saying what is in my heart, gently, with compassion.

Another comforting thing is this: All I need to do is what is in my heart to do. I don't need to save her. I don't need to convince her. That is the Holy Spirit's job. If she believes, then I will rejoice. If she does not, then I will trust that I have done what I could. If I say something that she does not agree with, and she "unfriends" me, then so be it. If she goes one way and I go another, but we talk about Jesus from two different perspectives, that's great. If I don't see fruit, that's fine. If I do, then glory be to God!

Well, the little girl who has not been sleeping so well has just gotten up. Sam turned on the radio in her room and it's playing "Agnus Dei" - "Aleluia, for the Lord God Almighty reigns."

Coffee and the Caldecott

It's been 2 weeks since I last wrote here. The last blog entry with its existential question of why I write (and asking why you write) received several great and helpful and encouraging responses. I'm not sure that I have really answered my question, but it was good for me to at least articulate the question. Sometimes that is all that's necessary for a time in the process of searching for purpose.

I'm linking up to Company Girl Coffee with the gals coming through from Home Sanctuary. Welcome. :)

Tomorrow morning I am taking part in a "Brown Bag Day" at my church, where we will be perusing, discussing, and appreciating the value of children's literature. Among a handful of other women, I've been asked to give a presentation; mine is to be about the Caldecott Medal.

Before last month when I was assigned my topic, I did not know much about it. Okay, truth be told, I knew nothing about it. When our pastor's wife asked me to give a presentation on the Caldecott Medal, I thought it was a book and said, "I had never read it, but I could." She is so gracious that I didn't catch her flinch, though I'm sure she did so, on the inside.

Since then, I have borrowed 28 books from my local library, and made great use of the ability to request books from other branches in the county. I have a terrific stack of books in the living room, and it's been a lot of fun to discover so many great stories and artful and creative books.



The Caldecott Medal is an award given annually to "the most distinguished American picture book for children published in the previous year" by the American Library Association. In a way, it is an answer to the Newbery Medal given by the ALA for children's literature, but awarded to the artist, rather than the author. Since 1938, the illustrator has also been the author of the text in 44 of the past 72 awards.

It is named for Randolph Caldecott, an English illustrator from the 1800's, whose paintings graced many nursery rhymes. I didn't realize it until this week, but the pictures associated in my mind with many of the stories were his interpretations of the rhymes.

Part of the criteria involved is that the illustrations be so vital that they are what makes the story what it is.

Of the collection I've gathered, my favorites have been Flotsam by David Wiesner, Time of Wonder and Make Way for Ducklings, both by Robert McCloskey,

Flotsam is fun because it has no text, only pictures. A boy is investigating things he finds at the beach when he discovers an underwater camera washed up on shore. He develops the film and sees fantastical images from under the sea. The final photo is a picture of the last person to have found the camera, holding a photo of the person before, holding a photo of the person before, and so on. So he follows suit, taking a photo of himself and casting the camera back into the ocean to be found by yet another young scientist. If I ever find it at a book sale, I'm picking that one up.

Make Way for Ducklings is one I remember as one a great book that I read and asked my mom to read to me countless times when I was little. McCloskey's "Time of Wonder" is suddenly my favorite, because it is really so well executed. The pictures are beautiful, and the text is creative and poetic. But together, they make you feel like you are on the islands of Maine with this vacationing family for a summer. I wish so much that I had not had to return it to the library because I want to bring it to the event tomorrow. There is one particular scene depicted in which you "watch" rain clouds begin to form, then get darker; then you can see the rain begin to fall, and the storm is heading toward you. As you turn the page you almost gasp and get excited because now "the rain is falling on you!"

I'm excited to bring these books and what I've discovered about them to the group tomorrow. I hope what I can convey is a sense of wonder at the fun and wealth of children's books.

What's a blog for?

Today I'm thinking about blogging. It has become a pastime of millions, many of them being SAHM (stay-at-home-moms) looking for a way to have a voice and connect with millions of others in the SAHM universe. Add me to the list, and you have millions plus one.

I'm trying to figure out why exactly I am keeping up this blog. The tag on the side says it is a blog "in which Cindy writes about stuff that crosses her mind." I am not like "Julie" in the movie "Julie and Julia" who created her blog with a purpose in mind. And then stuck with it.
The reality is that I can barely follow a single train of thought for more than 20 seconds, let alone do something, document it, and post it online, all while trying to make sure those decapitated animal crackers aren't permanently set into the couch cushions.

Part of the reason is because I want to use it as sort of a "log" of what's going on with me. I don't keep a diary or anything of the sort. Who uses paper and pens anymore? (Really, I am a sucker for a new double-spiral bound notebook and fine-tipped pen, even if I haven't used one in a long time.) More than that, every piece of paper in the house has had an attempt on its life by a toddler wanting to "color". I have a feeling a pretty notebook would meet its end very quickly, so I settle for left over legal pads.

Also, I have a baby book for Lizzie, but at this point, all of her "firsts" are scribbled in a small day planner, since I don't have the patience to dig out the pretty book and find a pretty pen and write a pretty caption for "5th tooth" and "says 'bubble'" and "first boo-boo" every time something happens. Having a blog allows me to make broad, sweeping generalizations (like "colors with chalk on driveway" and "demands to go outside by finding shoes and hurling them at any able-bodied adult") so in a few years I'll be able to look back and go, "oh, that's what she was doing at 14 months."

Blogging helps me process things sometimes. There have been a few times lately that I have had something on my heart or on my mind that I've felt the need to find the way to articulate. Writing at the computer has kind of always been my way of putting words to what's going on internally. I used to write e-mails. The sad thing is that I don't often write e-mails to specific people these days; I just write a generic, somewhat depersonalized, safe-for-the-general-unknown-internet-public monologue.

I also used to write "the next e-mail"--a weekly email that went out to over 100 people, mostly in the college age bracket, connected through COC and/or BWAB, or by my just happening to know you. It was a sort of newsletter, sort of encouraging memo, sort of announcement venue, sort of Cindy's-stream-of-consciousness-processing-through-life e-mail. I lost vision for that e-mail shortly after getting married and beginning to work full time. I'd been writing it for about 4 years, which is a fairly long time. Without a weekly place to send my thoughts, I lost my motivation to write for a while. Maybe blogging would give me a chance to share again. The truth of the matter is that when my heart is doing well, and I'm receiving life, I am motivated to open up and share life as well.

These days most often my blog updates are inspired by having a circle of friends found through the Company Girls at Home Sanctuary. I don't know how I stumbled upon this blog by Rachel Anne Ridge, but it has been rather transformational as it relates to my household, and to my blogging. Even though if you looked at my house right now, you would wonder whether I have ever taken any thing she's ever said to heart, it has been a pleasure to keep company with these women.

I follow a handful of blogs: One belongs to my mom (a soon-to-be published author), some belong to my friends, some belong to friends who make beautiful crafty things, some belong to my friends' parents, some belong to people who take amazing photographs, some belong to people who make amazing food (and also take amazing photographs of said food), some belong to people who are entertaining and take amazing photographs of amazing food. There are plenty of others, too, of course.

I just visited Alicia's Homemaking (via Home Sanctuary) and am amazed at someone in a similar circumstance (young married, with a young toddler, with a limited income, with a student husband, doing her best to show love and honor Jesus) blogging daily with a goal and purpose in each post. She does useful things with her blog, like she shows off cool things she found at thrift stores and makes pancakes for her student friends.

It makes me wonder whether this is a season in life when I should pursue writing (in any form, maybe online, maybe in the privacy of my personal Microsoft Word documents, maybe on pretty notebook paper). Or if I should turn off my computer's wireless connection for a month and see if I actually missed anything of great importance.

The reality is that if I am to write anything, I would have to write about what is important to me, or I would have no drive to write it at all. I would also have to have a sense that it was as important as anything else that I am responsible for doing - like caring for my family, maintaining the house, having a quiet time, and getting enough sleep. At this point, if I sit at the computer, I don't usually have much purpose to it. I sit down, lose track of time, and before I know it, I jump up, thinking, "Oh no! I totally forgot to ...." and feel pressure to do something I should have been doing while I sat and jabbered on.

If you are reading this, I have a question for you. What drew you to blogging? Do you have a purpose for your blog? If so, what is it? Did your blog or your writing have a defining moment?

It's party time!

Tomorrow is Lizzie's little first birthday party. It was originally going to be something small and simple, and it has evolved into something much larger than it should have ever been. But it will be a lot of fun, and we'll all be blessed.

I am up and at 'em this morning to work on my "Believing God" home work (and enjoy my coffee (Company girl and the real stuff) before embarking on as much cleaning and food preparation as I can stand.

This is what we're having for dinner for the meal, along with mac & cheese, and cupcakes.

http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/pulled_pork_sandwich/
I've made it multiple times before, but this will be the first time I make it for 20-some odd people. I have a 9 lb butt roast, and a huge crock pot. Anyone have suggestions while I'm about to give it a try?

I need to get up so I don't waste my morning on the computer. If you want to read deep reflections of my heart you can read the previous post. It's long, but it was good for me to write it.

Camp of Champions Changed my Life

Next week my brother is borrowing our Suburban to transport youth from our church to Mississippi for Camp of Champions. As I was pulling the miscellaneous baby paraphernalia that had landed there over the past several months, I got thinking about the drive to and from, and about the weeks I've spent there, and about the many ways the event has impacted my life and the lives of hundreds of others. I let myself remember the giddy feeling of preparing for camp. What will it be like this year? What will God do? Who will be there?

COC was founded 21 (right?) years ago, with a couple dozen youth. Now registration is maxed out at 130, on a first come, first served basis. And that is only at one campus; there are COC TX and COC Lincoln (in Costa Rica). There has been talk over the years of a COC OH and COC PA and who knows how many others in recent years now that I have been out of the direct COC loop.

The first COC I attended was in 1997. I was 16. My family had just moved to Atlanta, and we had left all our friends up north. We started attending our church in May, and the youth group was going to camp in June. There I learned that I could make some awesome friends so I wouldn't have to be homesick. I also enjoyed a depth of the presence of God that I had never known. I had experienced moments in various meetings or encounters on my own with Him before, but there in southern Mississippi, the taste of the reality of God's nearness and goodness and His purpose for my life has affected me ever since. Worship became a joyful expression of gratitude and awe. Prayer was a conversation. The Bible had words in it that could pierce my very soul, bringing revelation and comfort. Unity in a community of believers was manifest. Purpose and passion for the things of God were lived out in the examples of the counselors and staff. My heart grasped hold of this hope: A life of faith that has reality in it is possible. And it could be my life.

The format is simple enough: junior high and high school students (and those going into college) are divided into teams with a captain and co-captain. There is almost a mathematical equation to the way the teams are constructed--from different churches, at different ages, and different athletic skill. Kids come from all around the region, most of them from a group of churches loosely connected through their pastoral leadership. During the week that team competes in sports, team skits, a talent show, memory verse quotation, and completion of tasks like cleaning the dorms or sports fields. Points are awarded or deducted, and the winning team goes home with a trophy. Every morning high value is placed on 30 minutes of quiet time, "one-on-one with Jesus," then followed by breakfast (along with announcements, cheers, and the typical camp counselor silliness) then a short chapel service and sports. Then lunch, more sports, and free time. Showering had never been so coveted as during free time when we could clean up and rest in the cool dorms. After that, we'd gather for supper, do our daily team clean-up project, and go to the evening chapel service. That is when the fire fell. We prayed, sang, listened, wept, and rejoiced; so many of us--campers and staff alike--were broken, delivered, saved, renewed, and challenged.

That first year, we drove home in a thunderstorm, and for the first time since early childhood I was so captivated by the majesty of rain and lightening. I was so grateful for air conditioning in that van. I was challenged by the driver's reflections on the week and what he saw in those of us who were riding home with him and his wife. I saw Atlanta's huge, sparkling skyline for the first time when we drove through at night. All of it was seen through eyes that had been given new lenses, with appreciation for the beauty and creativity of the world around me, of the life I had been given to live. I was so excited and peaceful at the same time.

Over the years, I attended at least 15 camps. Maybe 16, but I can't remember. However many, I have all but one of the t-shirts to prove it. I attended as a camper for 3 years, and as a staff member for the remaining 9. I was baptized in the lake where we had sea weed fights during the "Octathalon." While pacing the asphalt around midnight in front of the Bluebird Chapel, and after years of frustration and doubt regarding it, I finally received my prayer language. In the poor, dusty neighborhoods of Uvalde, TX, I got over my fear of offering prayer to someone whose eyes are filled with tears because of the kindness of a group of kids. I have made friends who are as close as family, and with whom I would be honored to call friends for the rest of my life. I met my husband while I was in Texas, meeting up with a group of some of those friends I had met and served beside at camp. Two years ago at the last camp I attended outside of San Antonio, Texas, God gave me Lizzie's middle name, Hosanna. I guess I should have known she would be a girl.

Many years ago, when "making the camp video" was a running joke among those of us in the greater camp community, there have been several celebrities who have been coerced to say on camera, "Camp of Champions changed my life!" so that they could be inserted into the annual camp highlights video. Those people never actually attended, but it was always fun to get them to make a cameo appearance from some dark backstage room, saying that their lives were changed. But in all honesty, had I not been given the opportunity to attend these events, my life would not have been the same.

Snow is coming?

I'm excited to see snow, if it actually makes its way here today. But before it comes, I want to run to the store - though not to buy the traditional Southern Snow Concoction of milk, eggs, and bread (actually, come to think of it, we could probably use more eggs before the end of the week) - to buy oatmeal, baby Motrin, a Valentine's Day card (or two), another bottle that flows fast enough to keep Lizzie happy (all the ones we have now are slow), and probably some kind of frozen pizza or easy meal of some sort to put in front of Anna for when she babysits for us on Saturday.

Tomorrow night is the beginning of the big "Jubilee Celebration" for Brother John, celebrating 50 years in the ministry! It is a huge hoopla, with hours and hours worth of planning, many out of town guests, real china, and special slide show and testimony presentations prepared. I'm really looking forward to it, if anything I'm looking forward to the night out with Sam, dressed up, and without hauling the baby with us!

I can't believe that I'm actually "that mother" who has never left my baby with a sitter yet! Yes, I have left her with my mom a few times, and with her daddy plenty of times, but never with a non-family member. Granted, I'm leaving her after she goes to bed, but still, it's a "first" and I seriously thought I'd leave her long before she was 8 months old, but I have surprised myself and not parted with her yet!

While Lizzie is napping, I do need to get a few things done: have a quiet time (why does that get pushed aside lately?), make sure there will be a bottle of milk available for Lizzie in case she wakes up while Anna is with her, empty the dishwasher and wash last night's dinner dishes, and try to guzzle a whole Liter of water. If I'm really industrious, maybe I'll exercise (on the Wii Fit again, since I somehow injured my knee after pulling a muscle in my back - overcompensating, maybe? I don't know), charge the camera battery and empty the camera memory card, since we will have to get footage of Lizzie's first experience with 1"-2" of snow, right?

*Edited to add a link to the pictures in the next post of all the snow!

Oh yeah, I forgot I have a blog!

Well, if it hasn't been 2 months since I've posted a blog entry! If it weren't for the Company Girl Coffee invitation every week, there's no telling whether I ever would have blogged again.

Since it's been so long, I will not try to update everything that's happened since then, because that would take too much time. And I think I hear Elizabeth crying. Yep, that's her.

Okay, I'll be back in a little while.

A few hours have passed and the kiddo is back asleep in her crib. She's been out for almost an hour, so I might have to do the 10 minute version here. But who wants to read the hour-long version anyway?

Lizzie (as we now call her) will be 8 months old on Monday (8th). She has accomplished quite a lot in the past 2 months:

• She is now a "speed racer" when it comes to crawling. Can't leave her alone for a second!
• She stands unassisted for several seconds at a time. In fact, she can stand longer than she thinks she can; while doing something with both hands she will stand for quite a while, but the moment she realizes that she's not holding on to something, she wobbles and sits down or grabs for support.
• She eats pretty much anything we give her. Except baby cereal; she hates that stuff. Last night she was eating small bites of chicken, rice, and sweet & sour red peppers. And loving every bite. Cheerios ("O's") and yogurt are her favorite things to eat. She drinks water/juice in a sippy cup.
• Her two bottom front teeth have come in and they're super cute. They make her smile that much more incredibly adorable.
• Lately she has taken to "growling" as her new method of communication. She woke up from her nap on Wednesday afternoon growling at the cats and dogs. Not sure where that came from, but it's downright hilarious!
• After borrowing a book from the library called "Baby Signing 1-2-3" which uses American Sign Language as the basis for teaching infants to communicate before they can talk, I have started teaching her some of the words a little person like herself would find important: milk, change, more, all done, fan (because she loves the ceiling fan), mommy, daddy, etc.
• She takes 2 good naps nearly every day. Her favorite time of day is bathtime right after dinner, and her least favorite time of day is going down for naps. We let her 'cry it out' because it's the only way she'll ever sleep. At bedtime she is very good and will sleep without any fuss.

As far as Sam and I go, things are pretty much the same.

I'm trying to figure out how to be a mom, wife, housekeeper, dog letter-outer, chef, and child of God every day. I realize that I waste far too much time on the computer doing stupid stuff like playing on facebook and my "born in June 2009" online forum. Then I complain because I didn't have time to have a quiet time or exercise or go to the store. Wah, wah.

I did come to the conclusion that I don't have to spend lots of time in "devotions," I just need to focus for a few minutes, and then have reminders through the day of that time. I also realized that I don't usually process things unless I'm writing it out. I suppose that's the way that I "meditate" or "ruminate" on what is before me. Sadly, I have hardly written anything in a long time, which kind of means that the depth of my spiritual walk has been puddle-like. But it's alright as long as I go somewhere from here.

At New Year's I decided that my "resolution" would be to run a 5K race before Lizzie's 1st birthday (in June). So far I have been able to exercise most days for the last two or three weeks. We have found a race we'll do on April 17th, Lord willing! Sam has been working out for months now, trying to get in shape and lose weight. I'd been struggling to get to the point where I could even take the 10 minutes to get on the treadmill or use the Wii Fit.

Do you know what my secret is to getting active again? I cut my hair all off. It's in a little "mom bob" now. See, the reason I wasn't working out is because I didn't want to sweat, because if you sweat, you have to wash your hair, and it takes too long to wash long hair, so it's not worth it. At least that's the way it went in my head.

Sam is working 4 days a week again at the HVAC company and we are thankful that he still has a job. He has his one last class to finish before he graduates, and then he'll never be in school again, hallelujah!

On Sunday we are hosting a Super Bowl party, and it sounds like we have a pretty good bunch of people coming over. It will be fun, and I don't know quite how we'll pull it off or where we'll all sit, but I'm glad we're doing it. I don't care anything about the game or who wins or any of that, but I do enjoy the commercials, and it's a great excuse to have friends come and snack for a few hours! With the baby, it's easier to invite people to come see us than it is to go out in the evenings when she goes to bed at 7 each night. That has lately put a damper on our social life, but we're figuring it out as we go along. It's a season, and this too, shall pass.

If I have time later I'll put up some pictures or give an update on our trip to Texas with the baby and the dog for Christmas. The short version is that it was a lot of fun and so worth the trip; it was also easier than we expected it to be - both Lizzie and Lady were excellent travelers. The grandparents were thrilled to spend a week with their little granddaughter, and we thoroughly enjoyed spending time with Sam's family.

For now, though, it's time for me to throw dinner together. This did turn into the long version, but it's a fairly good summary of what life looks like for now.

Friday, Crawling. Tree. Cards. Thanksgiving. Graduation. Waffles.

Good morning, it's Friday! I have French Vanilla decaf to add to the regular Folgers today, PLUS the Pumpkin Pie Spice creamer stuff in the fridge. You don't necessarily have to put them together, but it's not bad together! Good stuff.

Elizabeth is going to be 6 months on Tuesday, and for the last 2 weeks she has been crawling. Seriously, what is her deal that she wants to do everything already?! She sits up, crawls, puts her paci in and out of her mouth, babbles, tries to drink out of a sippy cup, pulls up onto toys, and can stand against furniture and toys for quite a while. She is growing up so fast!

Here is a short video of her from last week. She is getting better at crawling now, but this is so fun because she's cracking up as she goes.




We put up the Christmas tree on Saturday, which is the earliest I've ever put a tree up. I think I was so antsy to put it up because we didn't have a tree up last year. The combination of morning sickness and traveling left me un-enthused about decorating. We took a stinkin' adorable picture of Elizabeth on Sunday, which I already made into a Christmas card and put in the mail. I don't know what's gotten into me that has me ahead of schedule as it relates to Christmas. I have never had the Christmas cards out the first week of December, either. Weird.

Here is our Christmas card:



I uploaded it to Costco and picked up 100 the next day for only $29! Envelopes, and all! I did go through nearly $40 of stamps, though. I'm hoping to hand out a bunch at church this weekend, though, and anybody I miss Sunday will be mailed their card on Monday.

We hosted Thanksgiving here last week, which was delightful. We fried a turkey again, and everybody contributed to the meal to share the load. We invited my parents and brothers, plus a family from church: Josh & Becky and their two boys, 5 and 3 years old, who don't have family in the area. The boys set up a huge city of blocks on the coffee table, and had a great time playing with Lady in the back yard.

It is kind of a family tradition to "adopt" people who don't have family nearby, since we don't have family nearby, either. Besides, holidays are so much more fun when you share them beyond just your family.

I'm still coasting on having the house clean from Thursday. It's starting to look like it needs to be picked up and cleaned again. I also haven't gone grocery shopping this week, except for an abbreviated trip through Walmart Friday night. If we can hold out through Sunday, I'd be happy. And if that means we have to pick up something over the weekend, I'd be that much happier. Ha!

Since the house was clean and we were free, we invited Scott & Stephy over for brunch on Saturday morning. I made waffles (using the waffle maker they gave us) and a potato/ham/egg frittata. So delicious, and we had a great time having them join us. I think that may become a tradition: post-Thanksgiving brunch!

The bummer of the month is that Sam did not make the deadlines he needed to for his senior project, which means he will have to complete it next semester. So, unfortunately, he will not graduate this month, and it will be next May. This may mean that he can continue working part time as an intern through the HVAC company he's been working with for a couple of years. It also lets him stay a student, allowing him to stay at the school where he has his foot in the door with different companies who will be pursuing graduates. It could be what gets him a job in a few months. We will see how God provides.

I should be getting off the computer and getting my butt in gear while Elizabeth finishes her nap. Lately she takes 2 naps, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Fortunately she goes down without a fight anymore (not usually) and will sleep for at least an hour. It has changed my life! She also goes to bed at around 7:30 PM and sleeps pretty well through the night, usually up around midnight once, and sometimes one more time around 4 or 5. Last night she slept from 11:30 PM to 7 AM! Getting up earlier is a little rough, but it's great to be up and at 'em before 8 every morning.

All the more reason for the coffee.... :)

Company and Coffee and a Confession

Welcome.

I am taking a break from imagining that I am going to clean the house while Elizabeth sleeps, and posting a blog entry. Instead.

Tonight a friend from San Antonio, TX, is flying in to visit, join us for the weekend, and help us with the annual Harvest Festival that our church hosts in downtown Lawrenceville. It will be fun to have company with us again (for the second time this month), but at the moment, I'm rather consumed by the responsibility of finishing my list of tasks before going to pick her up at the airport tonight.

Tomorrow (Halloween) will be the Harvest Festival's 11th year, our 3rd year being involved, and our 2nd year having the bulk of the event be our church's responsibility. It is a God-sized task, that a small-sized church is crazy to get into, except that every time it has been an amazing success. Common sense says that 120 (more or less) volunteers and a church with only about 100 people can't host an event for 3,000-4,000 people to attend free of charge. But we have to remember to factor in miracles.

This is somewhat along the lines of what my heart has been (slowly - very slowly) learning over the last week or so.

The blog entry here posted on the Home Sanctuary site hit me after I was able to consider it for a day, as it applies to our family situation. The gist of it is that I have not been looking at the future in faith, and have not been counting on the provision of God, the King of kings, the One who has all things at His disposal, and all government, economy, and nature at His disposal. Yeah, I was sort of doubting His ability to meet all our needs. Sure, I was able to foresee Him fulfilling all our needs, but only in the way that I think they should be met. Not in any other way.

Sam is a month and a half from graduating with a degree in Construction Project Management. It is not a good decade to be getting into construction. But God has been faithful to provide for us while Sam has been in school these three years, and it seems to be the way we have been led. But over the past year or two, Sam has been playing with the idea of going into a totally different career path, which is not a career path that I would have chosen. I have told him, every time he brings it up, that I have not had peace about it, and just flat out don't like the idea.

Over the past few weeks, I have begun to see my own stubbornness in regard to listening to what Sam has been saying. I have refused to budge, and really refused to pray about the possibility. As Sam has talked to me, and I have turned around and listened to him, it isn't sounding quite as bad as it had originally been in my mind. The likelihood of his actually being hired is slim, so if he were to apply and be hired, it would be essentially miraculous, and an obvious indication from God that Sam was supposed to work in this field.

While Sam was out of town last week, he talked with a couple whose insights and perspective we value, and they were positive toward the whole concept. Hearing their feedback helped me, as well.

This morning I also picked up our copy of Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest. The entry today was about Faith. Here is just one part of it:

Common sense is not faith, and faith is not common sense; they stand in the relation of the natural and the spiritual; of impulse and inspiration. Nothing Jesus Christ ever said is common sense, it is revelation sense, and it reaches the shores where common sense fails.

So my heart today is humbled, and I am actually more joyful having come to the realization that I have an opportunity to live my day in faith, rather than in a failing attempt to control my life and that of my family. And with that said, I am more energized to go about my business.

Anybody want to help me with cleaning the bathroom?

Friday Coffee: 2 minutes of our life

Coffee time is earlier for me than usual - everybody woke up before they normally do. I've already had breakfast (2 eggs and 2 oatmeal cookies - a very balanced meal, wouldn't you say?), and I'm half way through my first cup of coffee. It's not very hot anymore, so I may have to make more, to warm it up.

Elizabeth is in her Jumper ... not totally happy, but I know she's alright, so her whining is not truly bothering me.

Since Sam is in Houston for Andy's reception tomorrow (yes, for a various number of reasons, he left and I am here with Elizabeth and the zoo), I made this video for him. It's short and kind of cute, and shows what our life is like for a couple of minutes. Basically it's me being entertained by the baby and the animals. Pretty much the story of my life right now.



That's about all I have time or patience for at the moment, but thanks for joining in today!

** edit: after Elizabeth went down for a nap:

It's been kind of wild not having Sam around for the last couple of days. I don't feel like I'm "alone" because I have E with me, so that's nice, even though it's not like she is any help, of course. But I'm not by myself and I'm certainly not bored.

The funny thing is that I feel like I will have opportunity to do a bunch of odd projects that I have been wanting to do for a long time. For example, last night I spent a long time, broken up into 15 minute spurts, filing away all the unemployment and COBRA and Medicaid and current health insurance and dr. appointment and bills/invoices and birthing class papers that had stacked up (on the piano of all places). Yes, and all of those items had gathered in the same piles.
We shall see if I get any other projects done. Or if I at least clean the bathroom or vacuum. At this point, I'd be doing well to unload the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen.

A year ago today I was laid off from work as a customer support rep. I'm so thankful that for the last year I have been able to collect unemployment over the past 12 months while being at home being pregnant and taking care of an infant! God is good!

Home group is tonight. I might invite myself to Steph's a little early tonight. Yesterday Lynn came over and played with E while I cleaned up and "found" the top of my kitchen table and coffee table. On Wednesday night we went to Becky's and watched 'The Proposal' with her and Steph, Amy, Kristi, and Carol - that was great fun. Tuesday we went out for dessert (and I left E with Sam!) to celebrate Rebecca's birthday. I haven't laughed as hard as we laughed those two nights, in a really long time. I really need to laugh more often; it's so much fun.

Tomorrow I have a Pampered Chef party to go to, if Miss E will cooperate. Hopefully I'll stop by my parents' house while I'm in the area and visit with them; they've been out of town since Saturday, getting back today.

Maybe now?

Deep breath...

I've finally gotten Elizabeth to take a break from being awake, and she is dozing on the couch. I hope she will sleep for at least another 20 minutes, so that I can jot down my thoughts here while I'm thinking of them.

Yesterday I went out and had coffee with a friend (and Elizabeth). During the course of our conversation, she said she was doing alright, but could be doing better. I could relate, too. In that instant, I felt like asking if she would be interested in doing a Bible study with me. But I didn't ask--I didn't want to put my neck out there and offer, and then not be able to pull it together, or not be able to commit, or not have enough inspiration to keep it from fizzling out. That would make me another person who put forth a gesture to help, but never followed through.

After sleeping on it, and thinking about it for most of the day, and praying about whether it's just me or if it's finally time to actually put down the study that I believe has been given to me, I feel as though there is no reason not to put forth the effort, even if it's not very good, and even if no one sees it for years, and even if it might take me 3 years to get beyond the outline. Wait, come to think of it, it's probably been 3 years since I wrote down the outline. Oops, sorry, God. I'll try to be quicker next time.

So, now that I've mentioned it, I'd better get on it, huh? I don't have any excuse, except that I would sure miss a whole lot of TV and wouldn't waste as much time online. And who needs to do housework? Or take care of a baby? Well, we will see how quickly or enthusiastically I can do this, but if God is asking me to put it together, He certainly can help me have the grace to get it done and not let my family suffer for it. After all, what He gave me to work on is all about the Hebrews 11 "faith chapter" and the stories within it. Including "by faith, Cindy managed to set aside idleness and write a Bible study." Lord, help me!


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P.S. - If you want to read an update on life in general, the post below, "Three months" is long, but a pretty full overview.

Your Long Lost Coffee Buddy

For the last several weeks I have fully intended to post something, even just a picture or a sentence-long update, but even that has evaded me. I will not try to give a comprehensive update here now, because I have limited moments in which Elizabeth is currently content - or at least not upset.

Here are the highlights of the past few weeks:

Sam's parents came to visit for a week in the middle of the month. It was wonderful, and they were a huge help. Sam's mom cooked every meal for 7 days, went grocery shopping two or three times, cleaned my microwave and my stovetop, and cooed and loved on Elizabeth. Sam's dad spent hours walking with Elizabeth in his arms, just wandering and looking and rocking and humming. And Elizabeth ate up every minute of it!

There were a few times that I felt a little frustrated at having guests (in-laws, at that), being offered unsolicited advice or opinions about "you need to eat this; you'll make more milk," and having a different woman in my house and my kitchen - but, the blessing far outweighed any irritation. Now that they're home, they miss Elizabeth immensely, and I am pretty sure Elizabeth misses them, too, even though she can't articulate it yet. We were so pleased that she took to them immediately - within the first few minutes of their arrival, she was smiling at them freely.

While Sam's parents were here, they spent a great deal of time (4 meals, if I remember correctly) with my family, and both sides really enjoyed getting to know each other better.

Since they were here over a Sunday, we took the opportunity to publicly dedicate Elizabeth Hosanna at church. I wish I had time right now to put down the blessing pronounced over her, but the jist of it was - may she have the spirit of prophecy, as Elizabeth in the Bible had, and may she be filled with praise. In answer to our prayers, Elizabeth cooperated nicely by napping through worship, waking up before the dedication, not making a peep during the dedication, and then nursing through the sermon. Another family (friends of ours whose boy was born at the end of July) also dedicated their baby on the same day.

Over the summer, Sam had been working on a construction site in the ghetto of Atlanta, where it is quite dangerous to drive through, let alone work 40 hours a week (we told a friend who has been a cop for the city of Atlanta, and he said "you're working where?! I don't even go there unless I have to!"). His last day there was the Friday before his parents arrived, and then he had 2 weeks off, and now he's working 2 days a week in the office of the construction company's headquarters, just a few minutes from home. We're relieved for the change. He has also just started the last semester of school, so he should be graduating in December. Praise the Lord!

Two weeks ago Elizabeth had her 2 month appointment, complete with shots, and she did well, and is right on target growth wise. 10 lbs even, and 22".

She is drooling up a storm, and getting pretty good at bringing things to her mouth to drool on them better. She hates tummy time with a passion, but will hold herself up in a sitting position almost unassisted as long as she has something helping her balance her torso. She loves kisses, loves to 'talk' to you, and has started to notice pictures of faces and smile at them.
I'm running short on her patience now or else I would put up some pics. Perhaps later.
*edit: I got pics up :)

Where have I been?

Well, I've been here, but have not had time to write anything for a while.

So, the coffee pot is still funky, so I am using the French press exclusively, which is actually the easiest way to make coffee for one.

This morning started early, but miraculously Elizabeth is asleep again and has been for nearly an hour. Because of this, I have had a chance to have a quiet time (without interruption by a nursing child) and actually enjoy my aforementioned coffee. I also set aside 2.5 oz of milk for later. I am currently watching "The Doctors" on TV. It's my favorite show, and the only thing on TV before 8 PM that I can tolerate. I am well on my way to being a true suburban housewife; I have a Suburban, watch one show in the mornings, and clip coupons. All I need is soccer practice and a couple of twin sweater sets.

An amazing thing happened last night - I put E to bed at about 9:30/9:45, and she slept until 6:10 when Sam was rushing to get out the door for work! That is just over 8 hours! She did stir at 4, with some gas, but I waited to see if it would turn into a real cry. When she woke up again, I honestly thought it was a continuation of the same fussy moment, but it was actually 2 hours later.

Last week I had the joy of hosting my best friend, Michelle, from out of state for 5 days. It was wonderful to have her with me, and to catch up with her. We had not been together for 1-1/2 years, and that was only at a conference, so we didn't have the same time together that we normally do - chatting on the couch till all hours of the night, laughing at the silly things and sighing at the profound things we say, and watching girl movies.

Michelle is so refreshing to me; her heart is so pure toward the Lord, and she is so involved in serving in whatever way she is directed. We had loads of fun together, and we had one good, long heart-to-heart from about 11 till 1 the last evening she was here.

Next week Sam's parents will be here for a week. We'll take the opportunity while they're here to have our baby dedication at church. Hopefully we will make it on time to church that day. :)

Elizabeth is awake, so now I will go rescue her....

Coffee and such

first, let me make this disclaimer: i am typing this whole post with my left hand. right hand is supporting the eating baby. therefore there will be limited use of capital letters, and this may be shorter than usual. and there may be some blatant typos.

the coffee pot has mildew in the water reservoir and i can see it in the little window where you measure how much water is in it, or else i would make a pot for you. i've tried running vinegar through it a few times but to no avail. i'm reluctant to try bleach for fear that it would never get the flavor of bleach out. so i have been making coffee (75% decaf) for myself using a single serving french press, which i have rather enjoyed. i also bought myself a pack of those starbucks frappuccinos and am enjoying that as my morning fix today. so i'm not complaining!

the aforementioned eating baby is days away from being 6 weeks old. it is ridiculous how quickly she is growing. i have no idea how much she weighs, since our home scale is retarded and no 2 measurements are the same even within the same 2 minute span. but she's eating, filling diaper after diaper, getting bigger, and growing out of some of her clothes.

she smiles now! not very often yet, and usually only at me, though she did give daddy a big ol' grin last night which made his day. she is also figuring out that there is some way to control those appendages attached to her shoulders--her hands make her way to her mouth fairly often, and she chomps on them till she realizes they don't give her anything.

i'm doing well today. the whole nursing thing is finally starting to get under control. i am just getting over a bout of thrush, which was pretty miserable; we also have not had to use the shield for almost 2 days, which will make things so much easier in the long run.

i'm praying for 2 of my pregnant friends today: one is overdue and has been very uncomfortable for the last month - or more. we're praying for her body to kick into labor, or she's about to throw herself down the stairs.
the other is not quite 3 weeks from her due date and just discovered her baby is breech. they're giving the baby a few days to flip over, and will figure out where to go from there. clearly we're praying her baby turns head-down and she can have her baby and not have to recover from surgery as well as figure out the mom thing all at once.

The Update

This was the text of an email I sent to friends earlier this week:

I thought I'd send you an email while the baby is being quiet ... since she's still inside. :) She's due on Sunday, but of course, that doesn't mean much of anything. We are getting ready for her to come, which is really exciting and fun, and a little crazy sometimes. We'll name her Elizabeth, and the middle name we haven't told anybody yet, but I believe God gave me that name when I was at camp last summer.

So life is pretty busy these days. Sam just started work (last Monday) at the same HVAC company he'd worked with in the fall semester. This time instead of being in the office, he is working outdoors with a crew, starting at 7 AM, hammering air ducts together, measuring out drawings, and going up and down countless flights of stairs. He comes home dog tired every day. The project he's working on now (and will be until they move on to a different project, or till his summer work program finishes in August) is near GA Tech, which lately has been an ugly place to be, because of a whole lot of violent crime, and fun stuff like stolen vehicles (even one of the guys he's working with had his car stolen recently while at that project). So that is kind of exciting, and it is causing us to depend on God to keep us and our property safe. It has been kind of weird for me to be at home on my own while he's been at work this last week, after so many months of his being home most of the time, too. He had been in school and working, of course, but he had fewer hours in the week that he was gone. With him out of the house so much, and me feeling more and more large and tired as the days go by, I am somewhat embarrassed to admit that I'm not motivated to do much of anything, though I guess in the last couple of weeks of pregnancy there's not always a lot of motivation to do much, so I shouldn't be too surprised.

We've gotten the baby's room (i.e., the guest room/nursery) set up, and have a little bed set up in our room for the first little while when we're trying to adjust to life with an infant. This week I'm going to hit the store and make sure we have all that we need, and we'll install the car seat in the Suburban (yes, we're buying my parents' Suburban - it seems to make sense for us right now). Anyways, at home group a week or two ago, a couple of the guys were looking at Sam and saying, "Poor guy, so innocent and excited. He has no idea what he's in for; he won't know what hit him."

At this point I'm kind of tired of being pregnant. I've been fortunate to have had a good pregnancy (though it started out pretty rough in the first couple of months), and I've really only just gotten to the point that I'm ready for it to be over in the past week. I am grateful that I have been fairly comfortable until recently - and I am still able to sleep pretty well, I'm not getting tons of contractions that aren't meaning anything, and I can still get around pretty well. But my back hurts if I sit, and my feet and up almost to my knees swell if I stand; I am pretty exhausted most of the time, and sometimes the thought of doing something as simple as hanging up clothes makes me want to cry. From an outside perspective, it's actually pretty funny, but in the moment, it's just pathetic. It may have a lot to do with our waking/sleeping schedule changing now that Sam is getting up early, and I'm getting up to pack his lunch, etc., and once I'm up, the dogs are up, and if I'm up, I may as well stay up..... Just being exhausted could have a lot to do with my lack of enthusiasm for this last brief period of just the 2 of us. Speaking of the 2 of us, we have now been married for 4 years, if you can believe it! It's funny how simultaneously it seems that we couldn't have been married that long, but also that we've just always been married, haven't we?

Because of the recent influx of young couples with (or expecting) young children, we had the privilege of having Keith & Patricia Currie come up and do a marriage and parenting seminar a weekend or two ago. It was great to see them and to receive from them. They have such a wealth of wisdom and of common sense. I think I took about 10 pages of notes - literally. Now the tricky part is going to be remembering and applying the things that are timely for whatever season we're in.

My family's doing well. When Dad was working on a painting project several weeks ago, the ladder he was on collapsed and he broke his left wrist. He should be able to get the brace off of it in the next couple of weeks. It's hard for him to be idle, so he's already been working on stuff, which of course he shouldn't be doing, and we hope that nothing he's been doing will interfere with his wrist healing properly. Fortunately it was his left, and he's right handed, so at least he can still write, eat, drive, etc., without too much trouble.
Mom is still writing, and just sent a great story to her great agent, who is presenting it to several editors.... We're praying one of them - or two of them - will bite.
Older Brother's got one last semester of school (i think it's just the one), and he's starting a small advertising or marketing business - helping local businesses advertise to new residents. We hope that will be profitable for him, too.
Younger Brother is about to graduate high school, and then do .... what? I don't know. But I didn't know then, either. Anyways, they're doing really well. He is at the beach with his best friend's clan this week, and he's so excited about the baby coming that he is willing to drive back whenever I go into labor if it happens before Saturday when they're scheduled to come back, just so he won't miss it. I had no idea he would do that, but I think that's so sweet.
They are all excited about the new addition to the family, my dad especially. He stops in the stores when he sees little Asian babies, girls especially, all enraptured by the thought of his little granddaughter. He will be a total pushover of a grandparent. It's really cute.

These days I think we're doing fairly well. The Spirit is stirring up many in our church in the past little while, and my heart is also being drawn along. But I'm kind of in my, "what do I need to do, to do the works that God requires?" phase, forgetting that the answer to that question is, "believe in the One he has sent," not something that I have to "do." That is such a relief for someone exhausted most of the time, anticipating more of the unknown immenently to come in the next few weeks. But at the same time, I know that involved in there are some basics, like - open the word, take the few minutes of concentrated attention to pray, and be willing to do what I'm prompted to do because of what I can believe of Him....

And it's actually been quite a blessing to have Sam get up and out the door early again, so that I am awake and have opportunity to get up and have a quiet time. I know I should take advantage of it when I can. So my spirit has been hungry and provoked and encouraged - but in that place of causing me to be discontent with my heart's condition, so on top of the raging hormones and the stress of impending major life changes, I've been a little bit of a challenge to live with these last couple of weeks. But Sam is doing quite well with my little episodes of crying fits. He also knows to offer me food when that happens. He has been a fast learner.

That is what life looks like from my perspective lately. I can't believe it's been so long since I've written, so I am glad to have gotten this out to you finally.

I may not post another update for a while - but when I do, it'll be a heck of an update!

It's raining miscellaneous thoughts

It's raining outside today. And it rained yesterday.
And it will rain tomorrow. The dogs are not happy about it, and neither are we, since we have to take them out in the rain and wipe them off when they come back in. I know, having been in a drought for the last many, many months has spoiled us from having to deal with it being wet outside.

I think Oreos should definitely be named a necessary food group.

Sam is watching U-571 across the room.

I just discovered that there was a spaghetti sauce splatter on the 'o' and the '.' on my keyboard. While I wiped it off, it said ooooooooooooooooooooo........................

We used coupons for a free bagel at Einstein Bro's again today; yay for free delicious breakfast!

We're trying to teach Lady not to bother us at the table while we're eating (or doing anything else for that matter). It's a battle of our wills and our patience.

You're probably going to think I'm really dumb after reading my random thoughts.

Sam just called Lady, so she jumped over the back of the couch because it was easier to go over it than to go around it, apparently. We laugh at her too often when we need to correct her. She's hilarious and cute, even when she's less than obedient. We'll be hopeless when we have a little girl. Sam especially.

I was really good yesterday and had a great workout, but I had slept funny on my right arm or shoulder, and the exercise must have aggravated it. I'm feeling it today.

Home group tonight... We've been given the homework of reading Ecclesiastes and talking about it tonight. It may have been sort of an odd choice, but I think it's pretty good for a group of young adults (we're mainly in the 20-40 range, so I guess now we're just adults?) to read and look at the wisdom in it. And sort out what is "meaningless".

Now Lady is fixated on a squirrel on the back deck. She and Max are stalking it through the window. I swear they were separated at birth - either this cat it part greyhound, or this dog is part Siamese.

I've spent far too much time on the computer the last few days so I need to find something else to do when I'm trying to take it easy. Sitting doesn't help my fat ankles or my back.

Next week my mom and I are going to tackle the front yard, and plant some low-maintenance plants to sort of beautify the front of the house. Since I can't bring flowers into the house without their being chewed up and regurgitated by our favorite cats, I want to try to have flowers outside where I can see them when I go out the front door. We'll see if I actually get around to planting them and if they survive very long. But hey, it's a nice thought.

Coffee Time :)

Well, it's not morning anymore, but coffee sure would be nice around now. I'm drinking lemonade (the mix kind, though), so if you'd like some of that, I can mix up some for you, too. While you're here, take a gander at the booty I brought home the other day for my baby's room (the post below).

It's quite calm here this afternoon. Sam is napping, the old dog is also napping, and the young dog won't nap, so she is rearranging the back yard, disassembling the stack of firewood, piece by piece, from the back porch into the lawn. I think she believes it's her current mission. There are worse things she could be doing, so we don't see it as a real problem. All dogs need a job, right? This is hers. The cats are alternately napping and exploring quietly.

The first day of spring is actually very much like spring. It's probably close to 70 F out there, and sunny, and there's a nice little breeze coming through. We took Lady for a walk before lunch, which we all needed. Sam needed some physical exercise to help him get back to his workout routine after over a week of being sick. I needed to get my circulation going, so maybe my foot won't swell so badly today. Lady needed to expend some energy somewhere.

The rest of the afternoon I plan to get a little bit of housework accomplished (not much, just enough to keep me slightly ahead of the game), then mix up some cupcakes for home group tonight.

I'm excited to be going to home group again; we'd taken a hiatus back before Christmas, and it took our group a while to reconvene. This is the first night we'll be getting together formally, and we have no plan as of yet, but that's fine, because the Holy Spirit has a plan.

Tomorrow I'm off to a baby shower for a friend's baby girl, who is due about 3 weeks before I am. I picked up a pack of diapers and a couple of onsies for her - one says "Does this diaper make my butt look big?" and I couldn't resist buying it! I need to wrap all that stuff up today so I don't make us late in the morning. It's going to be about an hour's drive to get there, so I'm not excited about the distance, but I am looking forward to the company on the drive.

I'm getting hungry again; I think it's time to make cupcakes.... The sooner I make them, the sooner I can sneak one. :)