Since I'm so behind on everything, let's see if I can hit the high points of the past TWO months since I updated last.

Sam is working!  He is now a property claims adjustor for a major insurance company and is in training.  He likes it.  It's not his dream job, but it's not too far removed from construction, and it's yet another skill to add to his toolbelt. This will be good for a few years until he gets bored with it or can get into his dream job.  He's also learning to read and write Chinese, to go with his verbal fluency.  

I am selling Premier jewelry, and just went to my first regional Rally, and it is very exciting.  I love it, but am struggling to figure out how to manage a small business and manage a small home with small children.  One of the things I enjoy about it most is that I get to accessorize, it has emboldened me to chop my hair off and get a super cute cut (which I had been looking at for a year, literally), and it helps me focus on something outside of my little world.  My friends say I've taken the "Jewelry Lady" thing and run with it, becoming a little fashionista.  I'm glad. I am personally pretty tired of wondering whether I look like I just rolled out of bed.  But now I have discovered the power of bold earrings to make me feel like I can take on the world.  Really. Try it.

I've also got a smart phone.  It's a droid.  It makes me happy.  It also has a Bible app, and since Jan 1 I have been reading the "One Year Bible" plan.  So far I have used it every day (except one, but I caught up the next day, so it's almost the same).  It has helped me.  I think.  I don't know; maybe you should ask Sam if it has helped me.  But it's been almost 3 weeks, so it's close to being a habit.  Besides, it reminds me automatically.

Lizzie is potty training.  Like, we took away her diapers yesterday.  She has done as well as can be expected for a 31-month-old who decided the day before we started that she wanted to wear underwear.  We went that afternoon to Target and got her about 2 dozen pairs of pretty underwear, which she has made some great use of.  She forgets to tell me when she has to go, so I've done a lot of, "Oh! you're peeing!  Let's go!" and picking her up and running to the potty so she can finish on the toilet and still get an m&m.  She did announce that she had to go on the potty before she went #2 (thank the Lord!), and she did it.  I couldn't have been more proud of her. She called my dad ("Papa") to tell him, because she was so proud of herself. 

Lizzie is growing up and being such a wonderful sister.  When she greets anyone, even on the phone--like when she called my dad--she says, "I have a baby sister.  It's Karis."  (Of course, it comes out like "I ha' a bay-ee sissoh.  It's Tay-yiss."  She hugs her and loves her.  She also pushes her and takes her toys away, but there haven't been any major mishaps from her lack of impulse control. Yet.

Lizzie has sweet conversations.  When someone asks her, "how are you?" she answers, "I'm doing fine."  That cracks me up. Every time. 
 Her favorite show is still Wonder Pets, and turtle Tuck is her favorite.  She says so. "Do nyou want to watz my favwit so wiff me?  Do nyou want to watz Wunner Pets?  Tut is my favwit."  She has recently caught on to liking Busytown Mysteries.  She giggles through the whole opening song. 

She has learned that if there are monsters in her room, she can tell them to "Go away, in Desus name."  That is a big deal.  We've been dealing with monsters quite a bit lately, and I'm not sure if it's got to do with shows she's watched, but we have had a few instances when we have had to have some intense prayer when tucking her in, and have seen profound changes in her demeanor afterward.  It actually came to a head more when we had just finished doing a Christmas advent project, The Truth in the Tinsel (highly recommended!), which involved Bible reading, discussion, and of course, a preschoool craft. 
Related to the Christmas project, Lizzie's favorite thing to ask for is, "I want to do a paff" which means, in Lizzie-speak, a craft.  Usually I can get away with letting her go to town with a glue stick and construction paper, but sometimes she requires a little more focused attention or guidance.


Karis is 6-1/2 months old, crawling, pulling up to stand, sitting without assistance, and beginning to cruise.  Seriously, when she wakes up in her bed, she doesn't lie there, she is sitting upright within 2 seconds, and trying to grab the edges to stand.  I am not ready for this.  I have not been ready for this.  But she doesn't have any teeth yet.  And she hates baby food or any kind of puree or mush, while she loves her mum-mums and puffs and anything she can grab hold of, put in her mouth, roll around with her tongue, and swallow.  Like green beans, roasted squash, and my oatmeal.  She's a grabber.  She has pulled more bowls and plates full of food off the table while in our arms than I can count. 

Karis is a funny kid.  She smiles with all her might.  She sounds like a duck when she laughs.  No, seriously.  Not even like a cartoon duck, but a full Mallard honk.  Karis loves to give kisses; big, open-mouth kisses, on the mouth.  It makes her laugh.  She cuddles.  She wants to hold your finger while she falls asleep.  She wakes up at least three times a night, and wants to nurse every 3 hours through the day, like she's a newborn.  I hope it's just a growth spurt, because I can't keep that up.  She is still in love with her pacifier, but has lately been using it as a chew toy more.

And.... Karis just squawked from her bed.  It's time to start the day with the kiddos.  Day 2 of potty training, here we come!

So, about pregnancy

36 weeks, 3 days. Almost full term. Almost done being pregnant for the second time. Almost ready.

On an online forum someone posed the question, "What will you miss most about being pregnant?"

Really? Nothing. There is not a thing that I will miss about being pregnant, except maybe having the option to choose approximately when I sleep. Once Lizzie came, I never looked back.

That's not to say that I don't enjoy feeling movement, or getting a little extra courtesy at the grocery store. It's just that being pregnant is all about the hopefulness of what is to come. It's like waiting for a seed to come up out of the ground. The germination process is not what it's about, and frankly, it's hardly the fun part. (Perhaps the reason I haven't written a whole lot about my pregnancy has something to do with the fact that I don't want to come across as a complainer. I like the end result of pregnancy: a child. I am just not a fan of pregnancy in and of itself. Or maybe I just don't like my pregnant self all that much.)

Feeling her roll and kick and punch me in the bladder is all well and good, but inspecting her little feet and having her pull my hair with her little tiny fingers are infinitely better. Seeing my belly move when she gets hiccups or suddenly decides to change position is nothing like what it will be to look in her big eyes. Hearing her heartbeat (or as Lizzie says, "heart beep") on the doppler every couple of weeks is fun and reassuring, but I can't wait to hear her actual sweet little voice.

Unofficially

I took an unofficial break from pretty much all things blogs last week. I didn't write any. I only read a few (my Google reader had some 500 unread blogs that I sort of skimmed marked as read this past weekend). And I had a great week.

I've been getting up before 7 (most mornings) and having coffee, a good little quiet time, making something of a plan for the day, and usually doing a bit of exercise. Most mornings I can get all of this in before Lizzie wakes up. This is why I love it when my husband is on a routine that gets him up and out the door early in the morning, which also makes us ready to go to bed before midnight each night. All these things don't happen on a retail or unemployment schedule--or lack thereof.

Then during naptimes, I have been either getting in some reading or doing stuff around the house that needs to be done. Like de-cluttering. (Don't tell anyone but I actually borrowed and read through The Complete Idiot's Guide to Cleaning this week. I have 2 more weeks before I have to return it to the library, and I'm hoping I will actually implement at least some of it before taking it back.) But so far, I've just been trying to uncover the surfaces in our home. If I can find our furniture, I think I'll have a much better chance at maintaining a neat and peaceful home. At least for the next 2 months.

So, not much has been done in the realm of blogging.

However, I feel like it's a good time to give a brief update.

Lizzie is 23 months old. Almost 2. Sleeping in a big girl bed. Singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" into a microphone. Parroting what she hears. Walking around the house with her shopping cart (with her baby doll or puppy dog sitting in the front basket), putting things into it, and saying, "Buy diss." She has cut the first of four of her 2-year molars, and seems to be working on the next one. She is mastering the art of manipulation by cuteness. She "helps" me sweep the floor, water the garden, and clean up. (The garden currently still has one cherry tomato, one cucumber, and now 4 (hopefully) lettuce seedlings.) She still can't say her "k" sounds. She says "wuv you" when she gives hugs. She seems to be catching on to the idea that she will be a big sister, and that there is a "bay-ee hiding" in Mommy's tummy.

Speaking of which, I am 32 weeks pregnant. There are only 8 weeks left to go, Lord willing. I'm really hoping there aren't 9 weeks left. I'll try not to complain about it too much, but I just have to say that I am still not the biggest fan of being pregnant. I had to break out the support hose on Sunday; it helped the insane swelling I've been having in my left foot/ankle/leg, but I'm not sure if it was worth it. Part of me would rather have swelling than wear nylons. I haven't taken a picture of my pregnant self in a while, though I know I should. If for no other reason than to see how my size compares to what I looked like at this point last time. I have a feeling I'm bigger.

Every once in a while I get concerned about giving birth again, but the other night, after seeing a video of a goat being born, I was considering that I was glad we deliver little, soft, human babies, rather than anything huge or with hooves. I'm pretty sure being a mother rhinoceros would be the worst thing ever. Most other babies don't grow their horns or antlers until they're older. Not so the rhinos.

My mom's book release party/signing went really well. Here are some pictures. It was a lot of fun, and it was a huge success, due largely to a fantastic turnout of friends from church.

I am strongly considering venturing out into a business. Ambitious, I know. Especially for someone who is expecting a second child, and is somewhat lazy. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of risk, and there could be a fair amount of profit, even if I do get off to a slow start. We're praying about it, but for the most part we have peace.

Well, it's been about half an hour of nap time consumed here, and I have some more decluttering to do before I can feel like I crossed off much of significance on my To Do list today.

This may unofficially be my only post of this week. And I am OK with that.

Coffee and Meg's Book Launch!

Good morning!

This week has been a good one.

Sam started his full time job on Monday.  It's been great for him to be in a new schedule - a regular schedule - one that gets him up in the mornings and allows him to be home for dinner.

Sam's schedule has impacted my schedule, of course.  I've been able to get up before Lizzie most mornings, have coffee and a quiet time, and once actually did a complete 20 minute workout.  I thought about exercising this morning, but had vacuumed yesterday, and apparently pulled my lower ab muscles, so I will pass on that for a few days.  Pregnancy has its perks: Sam says he'll take over the vacuuming from here on out. 

Tomorrow is a big day.  It's Meg Moseley's book launch party and her first book signing!  When Sparrows Fall was released on Tuesday, May 3, by Waterbook Multnomah, and you can actually buy it off a shelf now!  It is real.

If you would like an opportunity to win a copy of Mom's book, follow this link.


http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/bookcontests/.

In fact, you can win her book, plus a book of your choice from among these titles:
Be sure to include the contest code for the book you’d like to win.

• Lady in Waiting by Susan Meissner (Contest Code: MMLIW)
• Anna Finch and the Hired Gun by Kathleen Y’Barbo (Contest Code: MMAFATHG)
• Shades of Morning by Marlo Schalesky (Contest Code: MMSOM)
• The Daughter’s Walk by Jane Kirkpatrick (Contest Code: MMTDW)
• Indivisible by Kristen Heitzmann (Contest Code: MMIKH)
• Lilies in Moonlight by Allison Pittman (Contest Code: MMLIM)
• The Harvest of Grace by Cindy Woodsmall, Advance Reading Copy (Contest Code: MMTHOG)
• Deadly Ties by Vicki Hinze (Contest Code: MMDT)

I can't linger online very long today, since I've got to make 5 dozen Snickerdoodles to bring to the launch party, run to Costco and the bank, and ideally even make dinner. And Lizzie is telling me that I have to "fix house" made of Lincoln Logs that she knocked over for the 3rd time.

But next week I will try to get a  bit of a recap of the launch party.  It will be quite the event!

Have a happy weekend!

Would you like to join this little blog hop?  Go ahead, it's fun!

We're back! {Top Ten} April So Far

This has been a full month.  It has been wonderful.  I wish I had started a list of bullet points of everything that's happened in the past few weeks, so that I could put together an intelligent recap of our April.  Or at least so that I could remember things.  But I didn't, so this is the brief run-down of what we've been up to!

1.  Almost 3 weeks ago, my sweet and dear friend, Michelle, drove 800+ miles from Michigan with her boyfriend, Rob, solely to visit with us.  That is a good friend there. 

Rob, Michelle, and Lizzie, at the park

Michelle was my maid of honor in my wedding.  Whenever she gets married--which shouldn't be too far off now--she's already picked me for the position, though with the title Matron. 

Michelle & Cindy, all dressed up

We used to stay up until all hours, talking about all the things that girls talk about--school, boys, relationships, our spiritual journey, boys, and dreams for the future.  While they visited, we got our "late night" time in during the early morning, while Lizzie and Rob slept in. 

Having Michelle as a friend is like having a sister.  No matter how often we see each other, we can always pick up where we left off.  And I hope that my girls get to be such close friends, too.

2.  In preparation for having houseguests, we had to clean.  Their stay motivated us to rearrange our guest room and make it livable. 
Before:

(Yes, I do understand that the blocks and colorful toys add drama, and make it look worse than it was, but it really was that bad.  I found that I had not filed or even remotely dealt with paperwork since October.  October, people!)

After:

 3.  We ventured to the Southeastern Railway Museum.  Lizzie loves trains, more than I would expect a girl to love trains, and we are right around the corner from this surprisingly great "museum" of trains and transportation. 

 

4.  Sam has another job prospect lined up, and it starts at the beginning of next month.  It's a three-month internship contract, which we are praying will become a permanent position.  He is excited to get back on track with a construction job, since his most recent degree is in construction project management.  I am excited for him, too!  The retail place has been God's provision for us, however, it's only an interim job. I am also looking forward to the retail schedule coming to an end and having a regular work week, that starts with early mornings and early bedtimes.

5.  We went to Texas and back!  We put approximately 2500 miles on our truck, but it was worth every mile.  Along the way we stayed with friends in Hattiesburg, MS, spent several days with Sam's family in Houston, made a 24 hour trip to stay with more friends and make a cameo appearance at a home church in San Antonio, returned to Houston, then departed for Mobile, AL, for one final stay with more friends, before heading home.  

6.  While in Houston, we got to go to the zoo, which was so much fun.  We went during nap time, so even though Lizzie was slightly zombie-like, she did really love being there.  

7.  Lizzie adores her grandparents.  Both sets.  She was actually disappointed when we told her we were going home instead of going back to Yeh-Yeh and Ni-Ni's house.  

 

When we did get back home, we got to visit with my family, too.  My mom is back in town.  She'd been in California for nearly a month, helping her sister care for their mother.  Her mother is still hanging in there, so she may need to fly back out soon, but we hope that her mom will hold out until after the book launch on May 3, at least.

 

8.  I arrived at my third trimester.  There are now only 11 weeks left before my due date of July 11 (Lord willing, no more than that!).  I am feeling quite large, my ankles are feeling quite larger, and whatever energy I had in the 2nd trimester is gradually leaving.  I'm glad we got to travel together as a family of 3 this month.

9.  Lizzie is making some "big girl" transitions.  While at Sam's parents' house, she went #2 in her potty for the first time.  That was a big deal.  She hasn't done it since, but she's put forth some good effort.  We haven't put forth a huge effort to push potty training, but we are giving her opportunity to try, especially if she asks. 

As of last night, Lizzie has decided she is no longer interested in sleeping in her crib.  So, she has slept on her crib mattress on the floor - which actually means, on the floor itself - for one evening and one nap.  The going to bed process has been a bit of a struggle, but once the lights are off and the door is closed, she has stayed in her bed like a big girl!  If we can keep this up until the new baby comes, then we'll only have to get one more mattress, instead of a whole new crib set. 

10.  Easter.   Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!  That we have a resurrection and the hope of the gospel, the strength of the same Spirit who raised Christ Jesus from the dead also in us.  It is truly indescribable.

Lizzie got to experience an egg hunt for the first time.  She was a little foggy on the details until she picked up a few eggs.  Then she got the hang of it.  And as soon as she got to what was on the inside (chocolate candy! stickers! bubble gum - we didn't know about that one until she gave me a very chewed up piece), she was pretty stoked to find more!

 

Those are our highlights.  How has your April been?

What's new?

Well, it's the first time in a week that Lizzie has taken an afternoon nap.  This would explain the absence of blog posts.  I'm torn between having an hour or two in the afternoon while Lizzie sleeps, or having an hour or two in the evening after she goes to bed.  I still haven't figured out which is better. 

The couple hours in the evening have usually been spent in the living room rather than the office.  While Sam watches MI-5 on Netflix, I'm on the couch reading through The Help.  I am almost done and I have hardly been able to put it down.  It's fun to read something new.  It's fun to read something without pictures.

The garden has no update; we bought nearly all our supplies, then realized we need to get dirt in to level the ground, and should probably cut down a few of the dozen tall pine trees that have plagued our "lawn" for as many years as there has been a house here. 

And in order to get that done, I need to find a printed-out e-mail somewhere in our office, to locate a particular landscaper's phone number, for an estimate.  Please understand that for something to be "somewhere in the office" it's like saying an item is "somewhere in the frozen tundra."  So, the garden is on hold until the office is cleaned up, at least somewhat.  But one way or another, we'll have something growing in dirt by the end of April. 

We have been making some progress in the world of potty training.  I discovered Lizzie's amazing capacity to love chocolate candy, and have capitalized on this.  She apparently will do anything - including tinkle in the potty - for chocolate candy.  She will often go on command at convenient times, such as immediately prior to a bath, but has on occasion exclaimed, "potty!" and we've rushed off to let her try.  Sometimes it's successful, other times not so much.  We're not quite ready to leave diapers behind, because she doesn't truly have bladder control, but we're getting there.  I am most pleased that she is willing and not intimidated to go on the potty.  There's no pressure.

Baby number 2 is coming along nicely.  I am 24 weeks along - officially 6 months.  Only 4 long months to go.  Last night I was confessing how tired I am of being pregnant.  It's just not my thing.  I know a lot of women love it.  I know a lot of women hate it.  I don't love or hate it; I'm just not all that fond of it.  And the exhaustion, the moodiness, the swelling, the aches, the kicks in places one shouldn't be kicked....  Don't get me wrong; the results are worth it, but I will seriously have to have a severe case of amnesia to get in this situation again--at least any time within the next 3 years.

I'm looking forward to sharing some great new recipes in the next few weeks.  I have a huge collection of photos of recipes I intend to share, plus I have tried several new things that have been successful.  I've discovered a wonderfully simple and delicious recipe for scones, and have made it twice with awesome results.  I kept intending to take pictures, but the process is so quick, and the end product is so delicious, pictures have not yet been possible.  I even made beignets.  They were amazing, and no more laborious than making, say, waffles.  I am seriously considering making another batch of banana muffins, since I have a couple squishy bananas ready to use.  We have also been eating things that have protein in them, I promise.  But those aren't quite as exciting to talk about as all these confections, are they?

Coffee Cake Today

This morning I couldn't sleep, so I got up a bit earlier than usual, inspired to make a coffee cake for breakfast.  It just came out of the oven, and I am pretending I don't hear Lizzie making her, "Hey, I'm awake, is anybody going to come get me?" noises.  I am SO looking forward to coffee cake and coffee to go with it.  There's enough to share, Company Girls!

I'm here with a fried egg, to balance out all the carbohydrates I'll be consuming.  I recently re-learned that carbs without protein make for one very mean lightheaded and shaky mama, so especially while pregnant, I'm trying to make sure I don't go more than a couple hours without something with more protein.

Sam doesn't have to go in to work for another hour and a half, so I am enjoying knowing that if I hop in the shower now, he can hold down the fort.  Then I will be bright and clean, and get to enjoy my coffee cake and coffee.  This is getting better and better.

Plus, I had a quiet time, while waiting for the coffee cake to finish baking.  I've been plugging away in John.  Lately I haven't had a specific direction, so when that happens, and you're tired of psalms, you can't go wrong with John.  Granted, I have been still reading breakfast psalms off and on with Lizzie.  But that's not really going to fill my heart when I'm trying to convince her to eat her waffle.  A couple of days ago I shared a huge revelation from John 5, and if you have a minute, jump over to read all my excuses for why I don't live the life I had dreamed. 

So it's shaping up to be a great morning.  Now, it's time for a shower, then my long-awaited coffee and cake!

A 20-Month-Old's Jokes

My little baby daughter turns 20 months old tomorrow.  Out of the teen months and into the "almost 2" stage. 
We had her 18 month checkup today.  (Yes, we got a little behind; it's how life is these days.)  She is a whopping 22 lbs and 33-1/2" long.  Tall and skinny, and pure muscle.  Unfortunately she had to have 2 shots, and she did so well.  Only a minute of crying, and it all stopped when I kissed her leg where the band-aids were.  She's taking a good little nap and hopefully sleeping off the grumpies.

Lizzie is a chatterbox.  Really.  I spent some time today writing down every word that I could remember that she uses regularly, and they filled a page front and back!  That's just from off the top of my head (while I watched a bit of PBS Kids with her). 


Even better than her talking is her sense of humor.  She tells jokes.  They are usually like rhetorical questions, and the answer is always, "Noooooo....." with a smirk.

The first time we noticed her creative sense of humor was when we were eating out and she was 16 months old.  Sam and I had ordered two different things and they both looked delicious.  I was getting Lizzie situated with her food, so I had hardly gotten a chance to taste my own food when Sam asked if I had tried his yet.
I said, "No, but I really want a bite."  At that moment Lizzie grabbed my hand, took a gentle bite on my finger, and laughed.
Sam and I looked at each other and couldn't believe what she had just done.  She told her first joke.

More recently, Lizzie has started to tell jokes with words.  Most often she likes to go with the obvious.

About a month ago I put her hair in a ponytail.  Her hair is still so short that a ponytail is kind of a pathetic attempt, but it usually keeps the hair free of boogers, yogurt, and rice, and she doesn't usually pull it out.
She was so fascinated by having a ponytail like mine, and kept saying, "Mama, hair," while trying to grab my ponytail.  And then touching her hair and saying, "Zizzie, hair."  Then a few minutes later, the conversation would repeat.  Eventually she started saying, "Daddy, hair," with a bit of a sparkle in her eyes.  She'd wait for a response from me, then say, "Nooooooo," and laugh.

Last week she saw me putting on makeup, which she calls "mape-mup," and she asked for some on her cheeks.  Really, she did.  She pointed to her cheeks and said, "mape-mup, tzseek." So, being completely amused, I brushed her cheeks with my empty powder brush, and she happily watched me finish my routine.  Then the following conversation ensued:
"Mama, mape-mup."
"Yes, Mama is wearing makeup."
"Zizzie, mape-mup."
"Yes, Lizzie has makeup, too."
Lizzie smiles.  "Yaydee, mape-mup."  (Lady is our dog).
"Lady wears makeup?"
"Nooooooo," with a knowing smirk.
No, silly girl.  Lady doesn't wear makeup.

It just gets more entertaining here every day.

Morning Coffee, How I've Missed You

It's almost a novelty, drinking coffee in the morning.  And when that comes with a bit of quiet, it's even more rare.

Today it is quiet at 9 AM because Sam has already left for work, and Lizzie was up until 11 PM.  Of course, that means I was also up long after that, but as long as she stays in bed a little longer, I can deal with it.  After all, I have my coffee.

Work is still going well for Sam.  He has been working a lot of hours.  A whole lot of hours.  He's secretly going for a week with enough overtime to double his paycheck before they realize what's going on and tell him to knock it off.  He gets to meet a lot of cool people (and a lot of oddballs, but that's what a retail position will give you), and he works in a field that he has a lot of interest in.  His interest makes him an excellent salesperson; yesterday he sold over $1200 worth of product and memberships.  He came home still stoked about that.

With all the extra hours, it's been a little hard for us to adjust.  There are some days that Lizzie barely gets to see Sam.  She misses him, but most evenings she is up late enough to see him.  I actually had a meltdown a few days ago, and said that I needed him to be home for dinner once this week.  Last night we had dinner together for the first time since Sunday.  It was great.  He helped with Lizzie's bedtime routine, and she climbed and played all over him.  Hence, the 11 PM bedtime.

Wednesday morning I had my 16 week appointment, and all is well.  Somewhere in the last few weeks I had gotten ahead of myself and really thought I was 17 weeks along.  But no, 16 weeks.  Baby's heartbeat is swooshing along nicely, and I'm finally starting to actually look pregnant, not just have a little pooch.  (I recently found that I can't tie my robe unless it goes either above or below the belly.)  We scheduled the 20 week ultrasound appointment 4 weeks out, and we'll find out what we're having!  I have a feeling that will be when it all really kicks in and starts to be very real.  And between now and then I'll be feeling the baby more, so I'll have a more constant reminder.  Aside from the general fatigue and loose joints and occasional lightheadedness.

Lizzie is hilarious as always.  She pulls words out of conversation and repeats them often.  She's saying about 3-4 new words every day.  Even while fighting a nasty head cold!  In fact, "boogers" is one of her words.  Yes, I taught my little girl how to say boogers.  And poop.  But hey, they're very useful.

One word that I taught Lizzie to say, purely for my own amusement, is "wonderful."  I've been curious what she thinks is "won-doe-doe."  For the record, everyone in the family--Daddy, Mama, Zizzie (Lizzie), Yay-yee (Lady, the dog), Max, and Leo (there are no phonetic transliterations for the way she says the cats' names)--are all wonderful.  Her Duplos, some foods (particularly blueberries and eggs), and Barney, are also wonderful. 

So that's all the "stuff" of life these days.  My heart has been trying to be heard again lately.  It had been sort of stifled for a while, I think.  There's something about being physically sick that makes it hard for me to make a priority of anything spiritual.  That is, anything beyond, "Oh, God, help," which I do believe is a perfectly valid prayer.  Having time in the mornings again has helped me not feel like I'm starting every day behind, and has allowed me to have a quiet time about half the time.  Today, I admit, I got on the computer first.  I still haven't had a bona fide quiet time, but I will.

Well, I think I've written about all I needed to, and the girl is STILL quiet in her bed.  Now for that quiet time.... And Second Breakfast.

Hopefulness

It's late tonight, so there's no coffee this time.  We have bottled water.  And apple cider.  We can heat it in the microwave for a treat.

In the past few weeks, my mind has been preoccupied.  Not with anything bad, not even with worry.  And since the appropriate time to share what's been going on has not yet come, I have been trying to think of other things to write.  But with no luck.  So here is the brief update on life in the Chen household.

Thanksgiving was lovely.  We scorched a turkey in the fryer.  It turned out fine on the inside.  We (collectively--all 7 of us) ate an entire block of cream cheese.  We made mimosas.  We confirmed that our favorite dish of all is green bean casserole.  Not turkey so much.  My mom and I are already plotting how to make it even simpler next year.  We're thinking that Publix will make your whole meal for you, if you just order it ahead.  I know, there are all these domestic goddesses blogging about their homemade from scratch turkeys and pies and casseroles and sauces, and then there's me.  But you know what?  That's me right now.

We have a new deep freezer!  I am loving it.  The last three times I've gone to the grocery store I have come back heavy laden with frozen goods--vegetables, chicken nuggets, meats to freeze, and toaster strudels.  Yes, toaster strudels.  I had forgotten about them until recently.  Ah, with the little frosting packet to drizzle on top.... Sorry.  I think it's almost time for a snack. At any rate, I am looking forward to planning out an intense cooking weekend during which I will make meals and meal-parts to make my life so much simpler.

Target was fun to shop last week.  Old Navy was a zoo.  The weather has been exciting--tornadoes in my parents' neighborhood (maybe you saw it in the news on Tuesday) and freezing temperatures and t-shirt weather, all in the same week. 

Unfortunately, Sam heard from the company that we were kind of banking on hiring him.  They sent him a letter, bearing the good ol', Thanks, but no thanks.  That has been hard on him.  He's continued to apply to different places, but it's getting frustrating having no solid leads and no paycheck.  And nothing to keep him focused day by day.  It is hard for a man to be unemployed.  It is not particularly easy for his wife, either.

I know there's got to be more I can do; more I can pray; more I can help scour CareerBuilder.  But I get so tired of praying the same thing.  I get discouraged praying for this job and that job to be the one, and then his being turned down.  I know Sam is tired of hearing that he is not the candidate they're looking for.  I know he's tired of being home every day.

I know there is a good job for Sam somewhere.  I know that God is able to rearrange whole corporations to make room for him.  I know that until He does, we're going to have everything we need.

Deep breath.  Change gears.

I'm looking forward to Christmas.  We're hoping to make it out to visit Sam's family this month.  I am slowly motivating myself to do the cleaning and rearranging that will be necessary to make a space for the tree.  Lizzie will really enjoy Christmas this year, being 18 months old.  She has had a delightful sense of awe at decorated trees when she's seen them in person.  She saw a picture of a lit garland around a front door and called it a necklace.  She insists that she wants one.  I want to pull the decorations out of the attic and put a garland up around the front door, just to hear her say "wow!"

We bought (half off at Target!) a Thomas & Friends beginner train set, which Lizzie will be thrilled to open and play with.  She still has an outrageous crush on Thomas.  She squeals with glee when the show comes on TV.  I want to fill her stocking with bouncy balls and new socks and hair bows and bath toys.  I hope we'll get at least enough snow for Lizzie to understand what it is.  I hope we'll make fires in the fire place and light Christmasy candles and make cookies.  I want to host another cookie exchange.  I'm thinking it may be a simplified version this time. 

What are you most looking forward to this Christmas?

Whataya Know? The World Kept Turning Without Me

It's been over a week since I posted anything.  I guess it was an unofficial break?

Well, in case you think I've been doing very exciting things that have been preventing me from sharing my ever-intriguing life, let me assure you, I have not.

Rather, the couch and I have become excellent friends.

The bathroom, too.  In a sick and twisted kind of way.

Not the kitchen so much.  And my cleaning supplies?  They are all but abandoned.

I'll tell you what; the laundry has not been missed.  I don't think it missed me, either.

My computer, which used to be a laptop, before the screen died and had to be replaced by an old fashioned monitor, chaining it indefinitely to the desk, has been visited only frequently.  I have well over 100 unread followed blog posts calling to me with their happy titles, like eager and shining faces, which I believe will remain unread.  It's just how life goes.

Poor Sam; he's had to pick up an awful lot of slack while I've been sick these last several days.  He's really great.  Sometimes I complain about him (mostly in my head--still not healthy, I know), often I complain to him.  He gets a lot of ugly from me.  But I don't ever really mean it, because he's truthfully wonderful and caring.

And he just asked me to identify whether the smell in his closet is cat pee or not.  I'll catch you later.  Have a happy weekend.

a Monday of Misadventures

Today felt like a real-life enactment of Robert Quackenbush's children's book Henry's Awful Mistake.  I have been thinking about that book quite a bit lately, because I want to have people over to eat with us, and I have been seeing ants in the bathroom.  But that has nothing to do with today.  Today was just weird. 

Henry's Awful Mistake, Robert Quackenbush

Last night we discovered that one of our cats had gotten locked out of the bathroom where their litter box is, so when we came back from our dinner excursion at the fine dining establishment of KFC, we found cat doodie and cat tinkle on Sam's backpack in his closet. 

When we threw the backpack into the washer and went to finish the cleanup, we discovered that the floor was damp and the carpet was stained a sort of rust color.  There was a musty smell.  This closet wall is opposite of the master bathroom shower.  Dreading the worst, we put a fan on it and went to bed, deciding to tackle it in the morning.

Severe thunderstorms swept through north Georgia early this morning, so the house was cool and dark when the alarm went off at 7-something and I rolled out of bed at 8-something.  The first half hour of the morning was quite pleasant; I got up, had coffee, a bit of a quiet time, and listened while the thunder woke Lizzie. 

Shortly after breakfast, Sam and I began discussing bills needing to be paid and being past due, and it was not the most peaceful conversation.  I wondered what had happened to the quiet that had been in my heart.  I realized it was dueling with the pride in my heart, which was trying to convince me that I had hardly any fault.  I chewed on that for a while, and eventually went to apologize to Sam, who was trying to figure out what was the best way to deal with the mold in his closet. 

I had the cute, demanding, and infinitely miserable half-pint hanging on my leg, and on my neck when she managed to convince me to carry her.  All day she's been wiping her nose on her sleeve, and has been generally discontent except when outside or in the bathtub.

While Sam was extracting black molded carpet frames and carefully putting them in a bag inside a box to keep the toxicity at bay, I had been trying to at least make a list of things that need to be done this week, and had high expectations of making a grocery list and starting dinner.  Lizzie was napping, and I was going to take full advantage of the time.

I picked up the living room to vacuum so that Sam could vacuum in the closet, then we could throw away the vacuum bag.  I am outrageously out of shape, because I was winded by the time I finished.  And when I stood the vacuum upright in the master bedroom, I heard Lizzie's pathetic, snuffling cry through the monitor.  She had been down for about 30 minutes and I let her cry for another 10, just to see if she would calm down.  No good.

The rest of the day was spent in a low-grade panic.  Late in the afternoon I chased the wide awake and exploring Lizzie into the bedroom to find Sam leaning over the sink quietly washing his hands.  I asked if he was alright, and he said he had stabbed himself with a rusty nail.  He'd been wearing thin plastic gloves to protect him from the grossness, but they had been no protection against a nail.

New distress surfaced when he said that the last Tetanus shot he had received was in 1991.  So we spent 20 minutes trying to pinpoint the county Health Department, where he could get a shot without having insurance.  While searching, we found out that our county's Health Department's website is absolutely blank.  No information, no phone number, no 'click here for details.'  Just a banner letting you know you found it, and the rest is empty.  Taxpayer dollars at work.  We found the location, thanks to Google Maps, and Sam left with 20 minutes before the clinic closed, hoping for an open slot.

In the meantime, I had to figure out whether I was going to make something for dinner or just call Sam to ask him to pick up another healthy meal from a drive-thru.  I decided to give dinner a go while Lizzie was semi-mesmerized by Veggie Tales' Pistachio.  From what I heard, it sounded entertaining. 

Around 6 PM, Sam made it back home, to tell me that he has to go back tomorrow, since they didn't have time to give him a shot today.  In all honesty, the Chicken Cacciatore was the highlight of the day, which I photographed and I hope to share the recipe with you soon.  We all devoured it.  Perhaps we were starving and didn't realize it, and that's why everything seemed a little more awful than it really was.  Or maybe it really was just a crappy day.

The evening progressed, and refreshed from a delicious meal, we got up and got Lizzie in the bathtub, where she had a wonderful time as long as both parents were present.  When we got her out, she promptly tinkled on the floor.  That was laughable and I cleaned it up, diapered her, pajamaed her, read to her, nursed her, and medicined her.  The nighttime routine is very long, and I had not made a pit stop before it started, so I asked Sam to keep an eye on Lizzie while I ran to the bathroom for a minute. 

What happened, though, is that I actually ran to the bathroom.  And as I ran, I swung for the lightswitch in the bedroom, but missed.  That's OK, because I've lived here for over 3 years and can navigate my way to the bathroom in the dark.

Unless there is an upright vacuum cleaner in the pitch black room. 

C   R   A   S   H   !!!

I nailed it with my knee, my shin, and what still feels like my entire upper right leg.  And I kind of lost it, if you know what I mean.  I cried in pain and embarrassment and fatigue.  Sam and Lizzie came in to help me up and give my boo-boos kisses.  I changed into my pajamas and finally got Lizzie into bed. 

Now that I listed it all, it's pretty funny.  But I was on the verge of tears of complete weariness and frustration most of the day.  And I am thankful that nothing worse happened.  And I am so very grateful that tomorrow will come with fresh grace to help and the sunrise will come with new mercy to meet our needs. 

Now, to--slowly--find myself some Advil.

The Week in Review

This nap time has been long-awaited. Sick toddlers do not pleasant company make.

Having a cup of Starbucks' Espresso Roast in my Texas flag mug, while searching for conversation points to jot down for your perusal, has been helpful to my sanity.

That obnoxious ice cream truck driving by is not currently helping my sanity in any way. But I digress.

Digression is mentioned frequently in blog posts, isn't it? That and coffee. And time management. Or the lack thereof.

Making use of my time, particularly of my mornings before the rest of the house gets up and begins making demands, and of the nap time in the afternoons, has been on my heart. And rightly so. I decided to start a regular post to keep me accountable to my commitment to "redeem the time." Check out the Nap Time Warrior post if you have a chance.

Today I have been very thankful for my crock pot, happily simmering away with our chili for tonight. The earlier portion of my day has been so long and so full of sniffles and slimy kleenexes and tears that I am not sure I could have spent the nap time making dinner without going into deep frustration mode. But in a few minutes I will also start rice in the rice cooker, and let it do its magic, and we will have a cozy dinner tonight. I'll open a can of pears and call it a day.

This week I have met some of my goals from Monday:

I did exercise twice this week. Wednesday night I put the little girl to bed and did a complete workout from Matt Roberts' New Body book I have had for a few years, but have not taken full advantage of. I am still feeling the burn.
This morning I walked around the block, pushing Liz in the stroller, and working some of the lactic acid out of my aching legs and backside.

I went to bed at midnight once this week. The rest of the nights, I finally hit the pillow sometime after midnight.

However, I did have a quiet time every day! Some longer than others. But it was quiet, and it was time spent. And my outlook and attitude have been much more gracious because of it. Oh, the struggle to get out of bed, though!

I posted on the blog once each weekday. I had a lot of fun writing our engagement story. I found that I did a better job if I began writing it a day ahead and scheduled it for the following day (or later). Having the ability to edit made a big difference in the quality of what was published. I also didn't sit down to a blank screen and stare at it until some drivel came out; I had an idea to work with.

While I walked the neighborhood this morning, I called a friend to catch up and to invite her family to brunch next Saturday. She will also bring her coffeemaker. It is one of the fancy ones that doles out one cup at a time. Just thinking about it makes me smile.

I'm also inviting the families in our home group. Whoever can come, can come, and whoever can't come, will just have to come the next time! My hope is to do this once a month.

My menu for brunch is shaping up:
Pumpkin waffles
Ham and onion fritatta (or frittata?)
Fruit Salad
Hummus, veggies and crackers or pita bread
Coffee, juice, milk

When you host a brunch, what do you serve or what do you enjoy eating if someone else serves it? I will be looking for other options for coming months.

Ah, Sam is home from helping a family from church dig out their collapsed swimming pool. I should greet him. Have a happy weekend!

My First Guest Posting!

Grab a cup of coffee and meander on over to Meg Moseley's Blog to read my guest post there today! I manage to reference coffee at least 3 times. You would be impressed.

Here's a teaser:

Ten lessons I learned from having a writer as a mother:

• Prioritize what you’re passionate about. A writer cannot help it; there is no escaping the creative process in his or her mind. With a novelist, that means there is a continuous story with full conversations with imaginary people. And sometimes those imaginary people take precedence over the real ones living in her house. Please understand, we were always loved, clothed, fed, and cared for, but we knew that we could reheat our own lunches and clean up our own messes; her characters needed her full attention just to exist. Who can compete with that?

Read the rest here.

I am hoping to make it to a Mark. (the young, hip version of Avon) party tonight, and maybe even get to buy something there! Or win a door prize! Or eat some snacks! Any one of those sounds exciting at the moment. Like these pretty little rings on "last chance."

The week has been a pretty good one. Here is a statement I never thought I would make:
I am so thankful that we qualify for three different forms of government aid right now.
But we are exceptionally grateful for God's provision while we wait, and wait, and wait for a job to become available for Sam.

We are living on chicken soup right now, because a lack of sleep and an increase in temperature changes have messed a little bit with all our systems. We're feeling better. And I'm getting really good at making chicken soup.

My lack of sleep is partially due to my absorption The Unlikely Disciple, subtitled "A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University" by Kevin Roose. I found it through a mention at Jade Keller's website, read the review, and was intrigued, so I put it on hold at the library. Now I can't put it down. It's definitely hilarious, thought-provoking, infuriating and convicting in turns.

I'm going to run out and hit the grocery store. Have a happy weekend!

Coffee Update 10 8 10

Hey! Thanks for visiting! I'm joining the Company Girls again.

It's time for the 2nd cup of coffee. The 2 o'clock pot.

Let's see, this week . . .

I locked Lizzie in the truck.

We made it to home group.

I have written a blog post every day.

Sam applied to 2 jobs.

I finished and put away all the laundry.

Lizzie turned 16 months.

I bought 4 shirts, 2 pairs of pants, a set of empanada presses, and a pyrex bowl for only $6.81.

I haven't been to the grocery store yet.

I have $10 to spend at Kohl's, $5 at Walmart, and $10 at Target!

I read the entire "Complete Idiot's Guide to Raising Chickens" from the library.

I'm picking up "Unlikely Disciple" at the library today. Looking forward to reading it.

I had a morning quiet time twice.

We went to bed before midnight once.

I got my first jury summons.

I took oodles of pictures.

I uploaded a dozen videos of the grandchild for the grandparents. They were thrilled.

I made lemon bars.

I "followed" a ton of new blogs.

We went to a friend's house for dinner last night, and had a terrific time.

I straightened my hair once.

I went for a 1+ mile walk once.

And, I think I'm quite happy.

I'll write something with more substance a little later. Now I am off to the grocery store, library, and Kohl's! Probably in reverse order.

The 15 month update

Today Lizzie is 1.25 years old. To be honest, she has never been more fun.

Here are a few things that amuse and delight us about who she is right now.

I love how she can follow directions. She throws her diaper in the trash, puts the Goldfish she dumped onto the carpet back into the bowl, gives the animals kisses, is gentle when we tell her to be, and helps me water the tomato plant.

She is the only person I've ever known under the age of 2 who is completely capable of blowing her nose. If you hand her a tissue and tell her, "Blow your nose," she will actually do it, and wipe it until something comes out! Sometimes she does it voluntarily if she has a little something in there that needs wiping--usually on your shirt, of course.

When cuddling, it is mandatory to have all the necessary equipment: Boppy pillow, striped pillow to lean back on, blanket, baby doll (or soft toy of choice), and snack and/or sippy cup. Lamp must be turned on. Parent is optional.

Coasters are very important. All drinks must be on something, whether it is a book, a napkin, a magazine, or a post-it note, it can't just be on a bare tabletop.

Last week I taught her how to play "Ring Around the Rosie" and she loves it. What I love about this game is that while it's fun for her to play it holding hands and dancing in a circle, she can play it the lazy-parent way: I sit on the floor and sing while she runs circles around me until "we all fall down!"

When playing with a phone, she says "Ha!" (hi) and holds the phone between her ear and her shoulder. Apparently she watches us too closely.

Coloring is a new favorite pastime, and she has taken to holding a pen, pencil, crayon as close to the tip as she can, clearly imitating the way I write.

Because we have recently subscribed to Netflix, with unlimited access to shows and movies online, she has learned that by pushing the correct buttons on the remotes, she can access her favorite shows: Barney and Thomas. If it sings, dances, chuffs, or whistles, she loves it. I know it's not the best thing in the world, but sometimes I just want her to sit quietly and eat her snack, and Thomas the Train is the only thing that will accomplish that.

I really don't know how she has learned this so quickly, but she has perfected The Bedtime Stall. Somehow it takes 45 minutes to do what should take 15. As soon as she's done with her bath, there's a burst of energy and a sudden need to read Gossie & Gertie 4 times in a row, and a new diaper, and another drink, and to kiss the cat, and kiss the other cat, and kiss the dog, and kiss the cats again, and eat more Cheerios, and read another book. Oh, and have the last milk of the night.

Lizzie's vocabulary is growing daily. We taught her signs for things so she could communicate before the verbal capacity was fully developed. She knows how to tell us: more, eat, milk, all done, kitty, hurt, change (diaper), swing, book, bath or wash, up, and fan (i.e., spinning around and around). She waves "hi" and "bye" and blows kisses. When something is missing, she puts her hands up as though asking, "where did it go?" or shrugging like, "I don't know." When something hurts, she tells us, and then it's greatly improved when we kiss it. It's also pretty amazing how well she can communicate by pointing and using her vast assortment of the "heh" sound.

Verbally she says or imitates about one new word every day. However, just because she has said it once, doesn't mean she will say it again any time in the next few weeks. But so far her vocabulary includes:
Mama
Daddy
Hi (Hah - so southern)
Hurt (huh)
Here (hee - when giving something to us)
Hat (Ha')
Hot (while blowing)
Help (he'p or heh) (obviously she has her "h" sounds down)
Outside (usually accompanied by a pair of shoes and yelling "ou-sigh!")
Goldfish (go-fish!)
Fish
Bubble
Shoes (Zooz, Soos or Zeus)
Shirt (Sir')
Lizzie (Zizzie)
Kick
Kiss
I love you (ah wuv oo, or ah wuv Mama/Daddy)
Shae (for Shae and her sister Addie)
Cat (Ca')
Bath
Yucky
Dog
Bob (Bob the Builder or Bob the Tomato, or dog)
Up
Apple (Abbo or Abpo)
Apple Juice (Abpo Du)
Gossie (her favorite character in the books by Olivier Dunrea)
Grandma ('Ama)
Elephant (Effant or Effan')
Chicken ("bock, bock" = what chickens say. Can refer to the animal or the meat. She has ordered chicken before by going to the refrigerator and saying, "bock, bock, bock"!)

Her favorite foods are:
grapes (quartered; in fact if they are too big, she gives them back to me to cut smaller)
chicken ("bock, bock")
apple juice
apples (which she eats peeled and whole)
beans & rice
chicken & rice
vegetables & rice ... anything with rice is usually a hit
strawberries, but she gets a terrible rash when she eats them :( no more strawberries for her this summer; maybe next year.
Goldfish. Duh!
cheese
ice cream
yogurt
frozen peas, frozen green beans (long ones she can gnaw on until they're mutilated, then give back)
popsicles

Socially she's really great. She is so well-behaved. On Saturday she was going all day long; first my parents came and babysat her all morning while Sam and I went out. Time with the grandparents is always great stimulation. Then when we got home, we scooped her up and took her to a birthday party for one of her friends turning 2. Then when she was starting to lose it there, we went home, at which point she got her second wind while Sam and I were wiped out. Then we got invited to another friend's birthday party (this one is also her friend, but she turned 16), and brought the delirious child to yet another party. With no nap! (I take that back; she fell asleep in the car for 15 minutes on the way to the first party.) It was almost 10 PM when we got home finally, and she never gave us any trouble! When she finally did fall asleep nursing (for the first time in months), I managed to change her diaper, put on her pajamas, and put her in the bed without her giving more than a sigh. The poor kid was out! I think we're finally recovered from this weekend now that it's Wednesday.

Right now my favorite thing that Lizzie does, though, is give hugs. When she wants or needs comfort, she comes up to me and gives me a hug. Wraps her arms around my neck or shoulders and pats my back--pat, pat, pat. I hold and kiss her and she just hugs and sighs. And when she was little we were worried she wasn't affectionate because she wouldn't hold still. I love that little girl. She's growing up so quickly.

The Weeks Go On

It's been a week since I wrote.

The Ladies Book Day was a great success. My presentation went very well, and with a little scrambling and a couple of phone calls to my brother (who works the audio/video most Sundays at church), the PowerPoint made it to the projector screen. Everyone was mucho impressed by my technical skills, just because I made a bunch of slides. So because I did that, the woman organizing the women's retreat next month asked me to find out about whether it's possible to record speaking sessions. Like I know? So now I have to ask some other people who actually know and report back to her.

The possibility of making it to the retreat next month is becoming much more real. Lizzie is just about down to nursing only twice a day--first thing in the morning, and last thing before bed (except brushing teeth.... usually). This has to do with the retreat in that I can drive up in the morning, stay for the day, and then come home, and not have to worry about Sam having a total disaster on his hands.

This week she dropped the mid-day feeding, and has been drinking whole milk from the sippy cup. OK, really, she's drinking flavored yogurt smoothies mixed in with her milk from the sippy cup, but still! We're making progress. And as the day goes on and she drinks more and needs refills, I add more milk so the flavored yogurt to milk ratio goes down. I don't think we're totally there, though, because today she was having a really rough afternoon, and begged to nurse before going down for her nap. Of course, darling. She is cutting more teeth; she has 12, and is apparently working on the canines (eye teeth) that have to come in between the front and the molars. So I have a feeling these are the worst, because not only do they have to come through, but they have to push between the other teeth that are already there - possibly bringing pain not unlike having orthodontic braces adjusted. My poor baby; no wonder she hasn't been sleeping as well.

Sam had a 3rd interview with the company that he's been talking with. There are still no solid signs that they're ready to hire him, but at least they keep calling him back! We're now praying that they offer him a job, and offer him the one we want: without travel. Hopefully we'll hear more next week.

Tomorrow is the last week of our Believing God Bible Study. It has been fantastic. This is the first time I have actually done every single day of homework, and filled in all the blanks. This is the third time I have attempted this particular study, and the first time I have made it past week 6 or 7. I have never made it to the last week. I am processing what has happened in me, so maybe I will manage to articulate it better in another post. Or maybe I won't have to; maybe the coming months will just show a more active faith. Maybe you'll watch me take God at his word, and see fruit along with me.

Actually, this week has started something pretty amazing in regard to faith and believing that 'God's Word Is Alive and Active In Me' (point 5 in the pledge of faith from the study we've done). For almost 2 years I have been a part of an online forum of women; it is set up for pregnant women who are due in a particular month. They compare symptoms, issues, hormones, questions, doctors appointments, and birth plans. Then their babies are born and the forum stays there for women to discuss everything under the sun pertaining to their labor and delivery, feedings, parenting, the cute things their babies do, and life as a mom. They joke, cry, tell stories, and share a bond of motherhood. I depended on them to "get" me when I had questions, concerns, and experiences to share while I was pregnant and a new mom.

This forum has been remarkable; there is nothing that can be a breeding ground for more drama than a bunch of overtired, hormonal, insecure women on the internet. However, by some amazing miracle, there are at least a couple hundred women who are part of one particular month's forum, and there is a depth of understanding and respect that is hugely unexpected and unusual. At the moment, there is a discussion started when one Christian woman asked one Orthodox Jewish woman, out of pure curiosity and desire to understand, about her faith and practice. It has nearly 100 responses, and every one of them has been thoughtful, respectful, and beautiful. Following that discussion, a thread has opened up a place where the Jewish woman has asked, 'what is your religion?' and well over 100 women have also shared their particular perspectives and stances on faith, religion, and how it affects each one's own life. Through all of it, every one has been careful, honest, and purely offering her own view. There is no name-calling, no defensiveness, and no drama. I am honored to be among such strong and dear women.

In the course of the religion discussion, I befriended one of the women who is in a stage of seeking. She's on the verge of believing; she wants to trust the Lord. I am praying for her, and doing my best to encourage her to look to Jesus, and read the Bible. So far she has been greatly encouraged and comforted by the scriptures I have shared with her. My prayer is that she will come to know Jesus truly, and will have her eyes opened to the truth, discerning any lies for what they are. Besides the joy of knowing that someone is so close to trusting Jesus, I have so enjoyed having a passion in my heart to share the truth of the Gospel. It is not hard. The Word is alive in my heart, and with the Holy Spirit at work, drawing her to the Lord, it is the easiest thing to find the verses that come to my mind while I type. It's easy to have faith when I pray. It's easy because I know that God is involved. It's not me trying my hardest. I am not arguing, just opening the word via links on biblegateway.com and saying what is in my heart, gently, with compassion.

Another comforting thing is this: All I need to do is what is in my heart to do. I don't need to save her. I don't need to convince her. That is the Holy Spirit's job. If she believes, then I will rejoice. If she does not, then I will trust that I have done what I could. If I say something that she does not agree with, and she "unfriends" me, then so be it. If she goes one way and I go another, but we talk about Jesus from two different perspectives, that's great. If I don't see fruit, that's fine. If I do, then glory be to God!

Well, the little girl who has not been sleeping so well has just gotten up. Sam turned on the radio in her room and it's playing "Agnus Dei" - "Aleluia, for the Lord God Almighty reigns."

Update on Liz, Life, and My Heart

Lizzie update, 13 months:

Lizzie has fallen in love. With the motorcycle. Every time she thinks of it, hears the word, sees a picture of one, or sees us go into the garage, she growls and points to the garage, and then signs "more" because she wants us to take her to look at it again. Yesterday morning Sam was on the computer at the table while we were eating breakfast. He followed a link to a video where there was a motorcycle, and all of a sudden we had to watch "more" motorcycles, or there was going to be a heartbroken toddler in her high chair.

Yesterday, Lizzie learned to say the word "apple." It surprised me entirely, because I haven't tried to teach it to her. I was giving her some apple juice, and the next thing I know, she was saying what sounded like "abba" or "abbo." So then of course I gave her an apple, and we read a book that had an apple on the cover, and we showed off this skill over and over again. It's not a fluke - she says it consistently now.

This brings her word count up to 5, plus growls and grunts.
Mama, oon (balloon), k'k (kick), Dada, moo (cow; except it's more like raspberries followed by 'oo'), and various sounds for things that make noises: "who who" for sirens or a train, also for owls, "ow" for meow, "broo" for the elephant trumpet, and "hrrr" for dogs barking, vehicles rumbling, lions, bears, or anything that growls.
She signs "more" and "all done" and "change" (when I ask her if we need to change her diaper), round and round (fan, wheels, anything that turns or spins), and up. And of course, she points and gestures and whines. Nods "yes" with her whole body when we ask her something that she wants.
She also blows kisses, runs, twirls in circles, sways when she hears music, claps, and laughs (almost) on command. She puts her hands up when we say "Praise the Lord!" She can find and retrieve things if I ask her to (e.g., Go bring me your drink; it's by the piano.). She throws tantrums when she is very tired and can't communicate what she wants or just doesn't like what's happening at the moment.
Her 9th tooth popped through yesterday. Yesterday was apparently a really big day. Last night was the first night in about a week that I put her to bed without Ibuprofen drops.

In all, Lizzie is a joy and a very smart little girl. Today we went to play group at the mall, where we watched The Veggie Tales Movie (about the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything) during their free showing, then played in the play area, and ate at the food court. It was a very eventful day, and even after being home for a little over an hour, Lizzie is still unwinding. I am hoping she will eventually fall asleep, since she's been in her bed, clapping and chattering to herself for about 45 minutes.

I would have some more recent photos here, to try to break up the huge blocks of text, but I have lost the camera's battery. I'm praying it turns up soon, and not chewed up by a teething toddler.

Life, etc.

After talking with a few friends a couple of weeks ago, I got turned on to more serious couponing. I have always tried to be as efficient as I can, and take advantage of what looks good, but haven't been that consistent. Steph and Amy referred me to SouthernSavers.com where I have been finding some fun deals. However, I did go to Kroger twice this week already, and spent $85 the first time and $60 the second time, and then went to H-mart and spent another $31. But I am reminding myself that this is for groceries for the next 2 weeks, and it included some things like diapers and paper towels--those add up. I shouldn't have to buy anything except for more milk and probably some more tortillas until almost August. I also did save about $50 in coupons and sales, so I think it's OK.

That being said, I have a whole menu plan for the next 2 weeks:
Monday: Rotisserie chicken, salad, bread
Tuesday: Chicken enchiladas, fruit
Wednesday: Steak salad, bread
Thursday: Hamburgers, cole slaw
Friday: Chicken Divan, bread
Saturday: Hot dogs, corn casserole
Sunday: Beans & rice & meat, fruit
Monday: Chicken sandwiches, veggies
Tuesday: Scalloped Potatoes w/ ham, veggies
Wednesday: Arroz con pollo, fruit
Thursday: Mahi mahi, veggies, pasta
Friday: Shepherds Pie, veggies
Saturday: Stir fry w/ tofu, meat, veggies
Sunday: Spaghetti, veggies

If I were really smart, I'd double and freeze some of these things for other times. But I'm not that smart. Maybe next time. We also have stuff for sandwiches, mac & cheese, and other odds and ends for lunches and breakfasts.

Sam is still looking for work. We have gotten a couple of leads from friends, and we're praying that something comes up. Something good. Something close. Something that gives us insurance. Something that gives Sam a sense of having a purposeful career.

If nothing comes up, I'll have to start looking for work, and Sam can be a stay at home dad.

The heart.

It hasn't been a super easy week. I've been exasperated, short-tempered, snappy, mean, overwhelmed, and generally miserable. This did not serve to make the house peaceful. I should probably just leave it at that, lest I complain. But don't worry, I'm better now.

For several days I had a terrible pattern of being awake way too late, and then in the morning being awakened by Lizzie's voice (sometimes cheerful, sometimes not so much). This meant that I "didn't have time" for a quiet time. That of course started those days with me in a bad mood, thinking about how behind I already was, and how I would never be able to make up for it. And I dug myself deeper into the pit of despair when instead of honestly asking for help, I whined to Sam about how unfair it was that I had to do "everything," and implied in every way possible that it was somehow all his fault that things weren't going my way. Interestingly, that is not the way to encourage someone else jump in cheerfully to lend a hand; rather, they're more likely to avoid you so as not to hear more venomous complaints. Trust me on this.

This is on the heels of reading through the entire book of "Practicing the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence, and watching an awesome message from Beth Moore in our Believing God study on Sunday afternoon. In retrospect, it seems like the viciousness of the feelings I was having were a direct attack of the enemy--trying to steal any seeds of truth from actually penetrating my heart in a way that would wake me from my spiritual stupor. As the recently popular song says, "I don't want to be sleeping while the battle is raging."

Yesterday on my way to and from Kroger and the H-mart, I popped in the cd of the message from Sunday, about the way that God meets our needs when we ask, seek, and knock. He knows where we are, and wants us to need Him and wants us to ask when we need Him. Why do we have needs? So he can meet us in our needs. Why can I not do everything on my own? Because I need Him to be my strength and my wisdom.

This morning I was able to break out of the downward spiral by getting up (even after we didn't go to bed until after midnight) and having my quiet time. I got up before 7, which never happens. And I made breakfast, voluntarily, for all 3 of us, and was cheerful. And Lizzie and I went out, and I sang along with the radio. And I didn't complain to my friends about how awful my lot is right now. Because it is not awful. It is just part of my process.

I am not who I've been convincing myself that I am. I am who God says I am. 2nd Corinthians 3 says that I am "competent" as a "minister" by the Spirit, not the letter of the law. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. Based on the meaning of those words, I am also "sufficiently equipped" to be a "waiter, serving food and drink" by the Spirit of God. I don't know what that might do for anyone else, but I think that just changed my whole perspective as of today. Most days I feel like that's all I am: a waiter, serving food and drink, constantly. And I don't even get tips. But if I am able to do so with the help of the Holy Spirit, then I have the opportunity to serve in faith, and produce life.

I want to have the perspective that goes beyond just the next 15 minutes, and into the next 15 years. Lord willing, into the next 15 generations. Simply doing something because it has to be done has no element of faith nor any enduring value. But doing it in faith, in love, in expectant hope, as unto God, it has the potential to affect more than just the here and now.

Here's the news...

Well, the biggest news with us that we're expecting!

I am (according to my best estimate) about 8 weeks along.
We found out about 3 weeks ago, about Oct 8.

For about a week before I tested I pretty much "knew" in my heart that I was pregnant, even though I hardly had any evidence to tell me anything for sure, and couldn't test to confirm it yet.

The pregnancy has been an adventure so far. I've been dealing with morning-, afternoon- and night-sickness. Some days are better than others, so I can't say it's all miserable. I'm figuring out what I can and can't eat, and trying to keep appetizing snacks on hand. Appetizing being a changing thing - what was great one day might sound terrible the next.

The hidden blessing in this season is that I have been laid off as of 10/17. This means I don't have to get up early in the morning and keep myself out of the bathroom at work all day, only to come home too exhausted to do anything productive.

The catch is that now I have to go through the unemployment process, looking for and applying to jobs, and trying to figure out what to do for insurance. I've been declared uninsurible, because pregnancy is not covered for new insurance plans, so we either have to cough up nearly $400/month just to keep the same or similar coverage I've had free from my employer, or go through the Medicaid route, which I can't really figure out until my unemployment filing is processed and I can see or show how much I am receiving. It's interessting, that's certain.

Through all of this, while it has been stressful because of all the unknowns, and the change of suddenly being at home and feeling sick, it has been very clear that God knows what He has for us, and we really can't be worried. Also, Sam could hardly be any more kind, flexible, and willing to help me feel more comfortable or keep me fed or help clean up or grill steaks (one of the few things I can still eat with gusto)!

We did manage to adopt out the big dogs, Jacob and Sarah. We are so happy about the family who picked them up last weekend, and they are in love with these dogs. It was also a relief to find out that Jacob's leg pain was not due to hip dysplasia but bad arthritis in one of his knees, which can be controlled by pain meds and less exercise, instead of expensive surgery. Susie, the lady who has taken them in along with her husband, called us on Sunday to tell us how they are doing, that they are happy, and they have each lost at least 20 lbs from the time that we had gotten them in July (they went from 120 and 116 to 105 and 95)!

Sam has only one last semester of school left after this fall semester. That means, Lord willing, he will graduate in May 2009! This semester is a pretty tough one, with 4 classes, and he is barely keeping his head above water, it seems. But the end is in sight!