Love and Fear

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect (complete, mature) in love. We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:18-19 NIV)

For several days I have been focused on love. Not love in the generic, touchy-feely, warm-fuzzies kind of love, though that's not bad in and of itself. I'm focused on the way I love. Do I love well? What is my motivation for what I do? Is it love, or is it something else?

When I get up and take care of my family, wash their clothes, talk to them, prepare and serve food to them, what is truly my motivation? I know there are women who really, purely do whatever they do because they love their families. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and daughter more than anyone else in the world, and would do anything for them. But when I am sweeping petrified rice and cheese off the kitchen floor for the third time today, is it done out of love?

I have found that often my love is imperfect. In fact, it is almost always imperfect.

I do things out of a sense of need, duty: "If I don't do this, it won't get done." There is care and love involved, but it's not the major motivating factor.

I do things out of a sense of obligation: "I said I would do this."

I do things out of a sense of responsibility: "I have to do this; it's what a good wife, a responsible adult, a good mother, a mature Christian, etc., would do."

Or out of fear of rejection, or of failure to live up to certain expectations, whether real or imagined: "What if they saw the mildew growing around the bathtub?"

So in all these examinations of my heart, I have found more than ever that the verse is true: There is no fear in love. And fear has to do with punishment. Or at least with consequences. Love is expressed by the things we do. If I do because of love, then it is pure, free from these other motivations. If I do because of fear, then it's not really love at all. There's no faith in it.

Where does this pure love come from? It has to come from the deep and abiding conviction that He loves me. That the Father loves me enough to give His son Jesus, who loves me enough to submit Himself to death, and who loves me enough to be raised to life by the Holy Spirit, who loves me enough to dwell in me and pour out His love in my heart.

Then perfect love drives out fear.