Company and Coffee and a Confession

Welcome.

I am taking a break from imagining that I am going to clean the house while Elizabeth sleeps, and posting a blog entry. Instead.

Tonight a friend from San Antonio, TX, is flying in to visit, join us for the weekend, and help us with the annual Harvest Festival that our church hosts in downtown Lawrenceville. It will be fun to have company with us again (for the second time this month), but at the moment, I'm rather consumed by the responsibility of finishing my list of tasks before going to pick her up at the airport tonight.

Tomorrow (Halloween) will be the Harvest Festival's 11th year, our 3rd year being involved, and our 2nd year having the bulk of the event be our church's responsibility. It is a God-sized task, that a small-sized church is crazy to get into, except that every time it has been an amazing success. Common sense says that 120 (more or less) volunteers and a church with only about 100 people can't host an event for 3,000-4,000 people to attend free of charge. But we have to remember to factor in miracles.

This is somewhat along the lines of what my heart has been (slowly - very slowly) learning over the last week or so.

The blog entry here posted on the Home Sanctuary site hit me after I was able to consider it for a day, as it applies to our family situation. The gist of it is that I have not been looking at the future in faith, and have not been counting on the provision of God, the King of kings, the One who has all things at His disposal, and all government, economy, and nature at His disposal. Yeah, I was sort of doubting His ability to meet all our needs. Sure, I was able to foresee Him fulfilling all our needs, but only in the way that I think they should be met. Not in any other way.

Sam is a month and a half from graduating with a degree in Construction Project Management. It is not a good decade to be getting into construction. But God has been faithful to provide for us while Sam has been in school these three years, and it seems to be the way we have been led. But over the past year or two, Sam has been playing with the idea of going into a totally different career path, which is not a career path that I would have chosen. I have told him, every time he brings it up, that I have not had peace about it, and just flat out don't like the idea.

Over the past few weeks, I have begun to see my own stubbornness in regard to listening to what Sam has been saying. I have refused to budge, and really refused to pray about the possibility. As Sam has talked to me, and I have turned around and listened to him, it isn't sounding quite as bad as it had originally been in my mind. The likelihood of his actually being hired is slim, so if he were to apply and be hired, it would be essentially miraculous, and an obvious indication from God that Sam was supposed to work in this field.

While Sam was out of town last week, he talked with a couple whose insights and perspective we value, and they were positive toward the whole concept. Hearing their feedback helped me, as well.

This morning I also picked up our copy of Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest. The entry today was about Faith. Here is just one part of it:

Common sense is not faith, and faith is not common sense; they stand in the relation of the natural and the spiritual; of impulse and inspiration. Nothing Jesus Christ ever said is common sense, it is revelation sense, and it reaches the shores where common sense fails.

So my heart today is humbled, and I am actually more joyful having come to the realization that I have an opportunity to live my day in faith, rather than in a failing attempt to control my life and that of my family. And with that said, I am more energized to go about my business.

Anybody want to help me with cleaning the bathroom?

Babies and Candied Apples

Friday is here!
It's so good to have Sam back home. He was gone for a full week (Wed-Tue) and I don't know how single parents do it, but I have a great amount of respect for them. One week of single-handedly caring for an infant was enough for me. It actually wasn't the baby that was so tough, it was the baby plus the dogs.

Funny story of when we went to pick up Sam at the airport:

The airport is about 45 minutes away (without traffic), so it's quite a long time for a person who hates to be confined to be strapped into a carseat. Fortunately, E was happy and then she fell asleep shortly before we got to the airport to pick up Sam at the curb. So when he got in the car, he was so happy to see her, that he talked to her and woke her up. I can't blame him, she's stinkin' cute and he missed her a lot, probably more than he missed me. That was all fine and dandy for a few minutes until E got pretty frustrated that no one was picking her up. Great, we have a screaming baby, and 30+ minutes before we're home.
Well, Sam had bought me a caramel/chocolate/candy-covered apple in one of the stores in the airport, and it was conveniently cut into wedges, so we could eat it without getting it all over our faces. Brilliant, and delicious. Seriously, that was the best apple ever, and it was so sweet of him to get it for me.
About 5 minutes into the screaming baby ordeal, I have an epiphany: give her a slice of apple to chew on! I told Sam to lick the candy off of it so all she gets is the apple, and he does so, and says, "there will be some residual, though." Of course, that's fine. I had given her plain apple slices to gnaw on before, and she's loved them, so I knew this would appease her until I could get home to feed her.
A few minutes later, she starts squalling, and I glance back there to ask Sam what's the matter.
He's laughing. "She only wants the sweet part. She has candy all over her face!"
"What?! Babies aren't supposed to have caramel or chocolate or candy! You're supposed to lick it all off!"
"Well, oh well!" Sam just continues to be amused. "She's advanced, she can handle it. And she really likes it."
Of course she does. If she has a sweet tooth later in life, it's because she got started early on caramel. But the next slice of apple we gave her, I was sure to bite off all the sugary coating. A hardship, I know.

Here is a picture of the little stinker with her candied apple and caramel all over her face. And the big stinker, who got so much entertainment out of it.

As long as it is called Today

Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess.
Heb 3:1
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.
Heb 3:13

These two verses were highlighted in my Bible from who knows how long ago, and I read them a little over a week ago. They have been in the back of my mind since then, and I read them again today.

Therefore - because of all that was stated before in chapter 2 of Hebrews:
- Because Jesus' words are the great salvation offered by God, confirmed by miracles and gifts of the Holy Spirit
- Because Jesus was made to be our brother in his incarnation, made to be like us in every way except without sin (though with the capacity to choose)
- Because He has destroyed the one who has the power of death (the devil)
- Because He has freed "those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death."
- Because He was made like us, in order to become a "merciful and faithful high priest" to make atonement for our sins.
- Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Holy brothers (or sisters) who share in the heavenly calling - We are made holy, set apart, called, by the holy Spirit of God. That Spirit makes us brothers and sisters, with one Father of all (Eph 2:18).

Fix your thoughts on Jesus - This is the crux of the matter. Fix your thoughts on Jesus. Capture every thought and make it obedient to the Lordship of Christ. Period. He is King. He suffered. He rose. He intercedes (makes a way on our behalf). He lives. He has all authority, and has given authority to His disciples (those who are taught by Him). He sent the Holy Spirit. He is the author of salvation, and the author and finisher (perfector, completer) of our faith in Him. He is all of these things, and yet more.
Every aspect of who Jesus is makes a difference in my faith and my life if I will just realize, apply, and live as though it is really true.

The apostle and high priest - "Apostle" means "sent out one". Jesus was sent out from the glory of heaven into the darkness of earth, to become the light of the world, and to ignite His light in us. As the high priest, Jesus has fulfilled the requirements of the law that were given, being both the sacrificial Lamb, and the one who offered the sacrifice to the Father. It was acceptable, complete, and for all time. There are no further sacrifices needed to appease God, and there is no further work to be done to add to our salvation. "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." (Gal. 5:6)

But encourage one another daily - Daily ... we need encouragement, fellowship, correction, emboldening from one another every day. Weekly encouragement will not guard against sin, discouragement, and fear.

As long as it is called Today - It is still called "Today." "Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts." (Heb 3:7) Our encouragement, to fix our eyes on Jesus, is "His voice" to one another.

So that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness - Not responding to His voice will cause hardness of heart. It will cause deception. "Did He really say...?" is what the serpent asked Eve, and she was deceived, because she disregarded the words of God.
Also, the encouragement we receive from each other will keep us from being open to sin, keep us focused on the truth of the Word of God, and keep our hearts soft, open, attentive, and worshipful before Him.

Today, may I be an encouragement. May I keep my thoughts fixed on Jesus.

Friday Coffee: 2 minutes of our life

Coffee time is earlier for me than usual - everybody woke up before they normally do. I've already had breakfast (2 eggs and 2 oatmeal cookies - a very balanced meal, wouldn't you say?), and I'm half way through my first cup of coffee. It's not very hot anymore, so I may have to make more, to warm it up.

Elizabeth is in her Jumper ... not totally happy, but I know she's alright, so her whining is not truly bothering me.

Since Sam is in Houston for Andy's reception tomorrow (yes, for a various number of reasons, he left and I am here with Elizabeth and the zoo), I made this video for him. It's short and kind of cute, and shows what our life is like for a couple of minutes. Basically it's me being entertained by the baby and the animals. Pretty much the story of my life right now.



That's about all I have time or patience for at the moment, but thanks for joining in today!

** edit: after Elizabeth went down for a nap:

It's been kind of wild not having Sam around for the last couple of days. I don't feel like I'm "alone" because I have E with me, so that's nice, even though it's not like she is any help, of course. But I'm not by myself and I'm certainly not bored.

The funny thing is that I feel like I will have opportunity to do a bunch of odd projects that I have been wanting to do for a long time. For example, last night I spent a long time, broken up into 15 minute spurts, filing away all the unemployment and COBRA and Medicaid and current health insurance and dr. appointment and bills/invoices and birthing class papers that had stacked up (on the piano of all places). Yes, and all of those items had gathered in the same piles.
We shall see if I get any other projects done. Or if I at least clean the bathroom or vacuum. At this point, I'd be doing well to unload the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen.

A year ago today I was laid off from work as a customer support rep. I'm so thankful that for the last year I have been able to collect unemployment over the past 12 months while being at home being pregnant and taking care of an infant! God is good!

Home group is tonight. I might invite myself to Steph's a little early tonight. Yesterday Lynn came over and played with E while I cleaned up and "found" the top of my kitchen table and coffee table. On Wednesday night we went to Becky's and watched 'The Proposal' with her and Steph, Amy, Kristi, and Carol - that was great fun. Tuesday we went out for dessert (and I left E with Sam!) to celebrate Rebecca's birthday. I haven't laughed as hard as we laughed those two nights, in a really long time. I really need to laugh more often; it's so much fun.

Tomorrow I have a Pampered Chef party to go to, if Miss E will cooperate. Hopefully I'll stop by my parents' house while I'm in the area and visit with them; they've been out of town since Saturday, getting back today.

October already?

Good morning.

Coffee is steeping now. Still using the French Press, since I still haven't resolved the percolator issue. Suits me fine, since it makes better tasting coffee, anyway. :)

It's cloudy, and misting a very fine rain. I have the screen door open, since it's so pretty outside. I wouldn't have noticed it except that I had to go out with Jessa when she begged me to take her at 8:00. Now that I'm up, and Elizabeth is still sleeping, I am taking the opportunity to sit and jot down a quick update. I will try to discipline myself to only taking a few minutes, so I don't squander the time that she is peaceful and quiet and I have 2 hands available.

Wow, I'm looking forward to that cup of coffee. We haven't gone to bed at a decent hour in probably 2 weeks. When you add to that getting up with Elizabeth at least once a night (usually 2-3 times), it makes for a pretty tired momma. But I'm not really complaining, just saying that's how it is right now.

Next Saturday Sam's parents are hosting a reception for his brother, Andy, who got married early last month. It is in Houston. We tried to figure out ways to afford to all go, and to all go sanely, and have someone to take care of all the animals, but what it comes down to is Sam is going to go solo this trip, and the whole family will visit in a couple of months when we can plan it better. We bought his tickets last night. The whole thing will be simpler when E is a couple months older, and Sam's done with school, and we've had our flu shots (I was not looking forward to the idea of going through the airports with a 4 month old who hasn't even gotten a cold yet). So while I hate that two of us won't be able to be there to meet a lot of Sam's family friends, or Andy's new wife, and we (and Sam's parents) won't be able to show off E while we're there, I am kind of relieved, because the whole idea was beginning to really stress me out.

mmm.... coffee's done. :)

Now a quick update on Elizabeth and her milestones:
Oct 8 (yesterday) was her 4 month birthday! It's also a year from the day I went to my dr to confirm that I was indeed pregnant. And the adventure began. :) It's an adventure we don't want again for about another year, but it's been a great one so far.
On the 6th we fed her first meal of solid food: avocado. I know you traditionally start with rice cereal and/or something like peas or squash, but we had avocado, it was ripe, and we felt like giving her a bit. She had it 2 days in a row, and had a great time tasting it, feeling it, and sucking it off her fingers. The first day she was more into it than the second day.
We were just given a Jumper that hangs from the door frame, which will most likely be our favorite toy very soon. Elizabeth loves to jump, and will jump in your arms for as long as your arms hold out. I can't wait to try it out.
She can roll over both ways - front to back, and back to front. It won't be long before she figures out that she can use rolling as a method of transportation. Of course, with all the dogs and their hair all over the floor, it's not very often she gets free rein on the ground to experiment with her rolling. Yeah, we don't vacuum very often.
With her rolling discovery, she has also gotten good at pushing herself up on her hands, as well as scooting. She will move herself forward if she has something to push off against, and really likes to move. I'm afraid she will be crawling in just a few weeks, and walking before she's 8 months old. There doesn't seem to be anything that will stop her.

Speaking of Elizabeth, she is stirring and beginning to talk to herself in her crib, so I will post this now and will begin my day.

Maybe now?

Deep breath...

I've finally gotten Elizabeth to take a break from being awake, and she is dozing on the couch. I hope she will sleep for at least another 20 minutes, so that I can jot down my thoughts here while I'm thinking of them.

Yesterday I went out and had coffee with a friend (and Elizabeth). During the course of our conversation, she said she was doing alright, but could be doing better. I could relate, too. In that instant, I felt like asking if she would be interested in doing a Bible study with me. But I didn't ask--I didn't want to put my neck out there and offer, and then not be able to pull it together, or not be able to commit, or not have enough inspiration to keep it from fizzling out. That would make me another person who put forth a gesture to help, but never followed through.

After sleeping on it, and thinking about it for most of the day, and praying about whether it's just me or if it's finally time to actually put down the study that I believe has been given to me, I feel as though there is no reason not to put forth the effort, even if it's not very good, and even if no one sees it for years, and even if it might take me 3 years to get beyond the outline. Wait, come to think of it, it's probably been 3 years since I wrote down the outline. Oops, sorry, God. I'll try to be quicker next time.

So, now that I've mentioned it, I'd better get on it, huh? I don't have any excuse, except that I would sure miss a whole lot of TV and wouldn't waste as much time online. And who needs to do housework? Or take care of a baby? Well, we will see how quickly or enthusiastically I can do this, but if God is asking me to put it together, He certainly can help me have the grace to get it done and not let my family suffer for it. After all, what He gave me to work on is all about the Hebrews 11 "faith chapter" and the stories within it. Including "by faith, Cindy managed to set aside idleness and write a Bible study." Lord, help me!


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P.S. - If you want to read an update on life in general, the post below, "Three months" is long, but a pretty full overview.

Three months!

I feel slightly in a daze at the moment, simply because I am sort of tired. It's time for the "afternoon pot" of coffee, except that I gave that up a long time ago. Maybe it's time for the 2nd liter of water, instead.

Things have been going well here. We just spent time with the family yesterday for Labor Day, which was fun. The Morrises were there, too, which made it more entertaining than just our immediate family. Sam and I were sort of surprised when we had eaten basically only one meal all day - a rather huge one, at that - and were still not hungry when we went to bed. We ate pretty steadily from three till five PM, though, which may explain things.

Today is Elizabeth's three-month birthday! It's hard to believe that she's been with us for three whole months. And at the same time it's hard to believe she hasn't been here with us forever.
Sunday night we put her in her crib to go to bed for the first time ever. Since she goes in there mostly asleep, she doesn't have a problem with it. Then when she wakes up (usually around 3 or 4) I move her into her play yard in our room. And then when she wakes up the second or third time (usually around 7 AM), I just drag her into bed with us, where she snoozes off and on for another hour or two. In all, she has been sleeping at least 6 hours at a time at night, then another 3-4, plus 1-2. This is wonderful, and we thank God for her capacity to sleep at night.

Elizabeth's day-time sleep capacity is another story. I have learned to accept the fact that she sleeps no longer than 30 minutes at a time during the day. It's just the way it is, and as soon as I came to terms with that (it took me until she was 10 weeks old), I was much less stressed, since I had different expectations. Now when she sleeps longer (like 45-60 min) at a time, I am almost beside myself.

Right now, I should be making a grocery list and planning meals for the rest of the week. But since Elizabeth is in one of her naps (in her crib, I might add), I feel like it's more worth my time to record a bit about her progress as a little person. The grocery shopping will probably not get done today, anyway, so why stress? If anything, I can put her down at 9 tonight, and run out then.

Over the last few days, we have discovered that walking with the stroller outside is a secret weapon in getting E to fall asleep without nursing. On Friday she and I met Sam for lunch, and after lunch, I decided to stop in to Old Navy. While I walked through the parking lot, and then through the store, E kept getting more and more sleepy, and within about 15 minutes, she was out. So, like any sane woman, I took full advantage of the opportunity, and tried on jeans! Glory to God, I found a pair that fit wonderfully, and they are the same size I wore before she was born (albeit a slightly different shape). The same thing happened on Saturday when we went to a wedding shower for a couple at church. Elizabeth had come to the end of her rope, so I took her outside in the stroller and walked around the building a time and a half. By the time we had cooled off the car and were ready to leave, she was sleeping again.
So today we took advantage of the concept by talking a walk around the neighborhood this morning. She enjoyed the fresh air and the sights, and by the time we got back after 20 minutes, she was asleep.

Two weekends ago (Aug 29th-ish) she laughed for the first time. She had been doing a sort of squeal, which you can't really count as a laugh. This one was a full giggle: "heh-heh-heh-hehhh." Kisses make her giggle. And blowing on her chest or belly will also do the trick.

She is very good at grabbing things with her hands now; she can pull toys to her mouth, and she strains and reaches toward things that are out of her reach, especially things on the table when we sit with her on our laps. Today she was all about the allen wrench on the table while we ate lunch. We also set her in her Bumbo seat next to a fridge pack of Cokes, and she played with the box. It had a loose flap, so she maniuplated it happily for at least 7 minutes. Stuffed animals, especially a light tan puppy who jingles, are favorite toys, and she will talk to them, and lick them and smile when they "kiss" her mouth.

Elizabeth now almost entirely refuses to be reclining; she has to be sitting upright. No more of that business of laying back on my knees. Instead she pulls herself forward and wants to sit up. Because of this, we have put away her bouncy/rocker seat, and have replaced it with her Exersaucer. We call this thing her "command station" because of the way it sits her in a cockpit of sorts. She holds herself up on her feet, turning herself to play with different toys on the different sides of the "station". Sometimes her turning is accidental, but for the most part, she is very good at being in command of what she plays with. The funniest thing is that she can go around the toy a couple of times playing with its different parts before she gets bored with it. The joy of no object permanence yet is that every time she sees a different side, it's a new toy. Oh, wow, this toy is over here!

Smiling is probably Elizabeth's favorite thing to do. She smiles at faces, whether they are real people, pictures of babies, her reflection in a mirror or car window, cartoon shapes of baby faces, stuffed animals, or the dogs or cats. She loves faces. In the last few days, she has taken to smiling at Jessa, and if we're close enough, she will reach forward and pet her. Jessa has no concept that this is a human being, from whom food may be begged in the future. Oh, but she will learn.

With all of these amazing milestones, it is not hard to be more and more infatuated with this little girl. So of course, Sam and I can't keep telling each other and everyone about how wonderful she is. We're quite smitten.