Maybe now?

Deep breath...

I've finally gotten Elizabeth to take a break from being awake, and she is dozing on the couch. I hope she will sleep for at least another 20 minutes, so that I can jot down my thoughts here while I'm thinking of them.

Yesterday I went out and had coffee with a friend (and Elizabeth). During the course of our conversation, she said she was doing alright, but could be doing better. I could relate, too. In that instant, I felt like asking if she would be interested in doing a Bible study with me. But I didn't ask--I didn't want to put my neck out there and offer, and then not be able to pull it together, or not be able to commit, or not have enough inspiration to keep it from fizzling out. That would make me another person who put forth a gesture to help, but never followed through.

After sleeping on it, and thinking about it for most of the day, and praying about whether it's just me or if it's finally time to actually put down the study that I believe has been given to me, I feel as though there is no reason not to put forth the effort, even if it's not very good, and even if no one sees it for years, and even if it might take me 3 years to get beyond the outline. Wait, come to think of it, it's probably been 3 years since I wrote down the outline. Oops, sorry, God. I'll try to be quicker next time.

So, now that I've mentioned it, I'd better get on it, huh? I don't have any excuse, except that I would sure miss a whole lot of TV and wouldn't waste as much time online. And who needs to do housework? Or take care of a baby? Well, we will see how quickly or enthusiastically I can do this, but if God is asking me to put it together, He certainly can help me have the grace to get it done and not let my family suffer for it. After all, what He gave me to work on is all about the Hebrews 11 "faith chapter" and the stories within it. Including "by faith, Cindy managed to set aside idleness and write a Bible study." Lord, help me!


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P.S. - If you want to read an update on life in general, the post below, "Three months" is long, but a pretty full overview.

Three months!

I feel slightly in a daze at the moment, simply because I am sort of tired. It's time for the "afternoon pot" of coffee, except that I gave that up a long time ago. Maybe it's time for the 2nd liter of water, instead.

Things have been going well here. We just spent time with the family yesterday for Labor Day, which was fun. The Morrises were there, too, which made it more entertaining than just our immediate family. Sam and I were sort of surprised when we had eaten basically only one meal all day - a rather huge one, at that - and were still not hungry when we went to bed. We ate pretty steadily from three till five PM, though, which may explain things.

Today is Elizabeth's three-month birthday! It's hard to believe that she's been with us for three whole months. And at the same time it's hard to believe she hasn't been here with us forever.
Sunday night we put her in her crib to go to bed for the first time ever. Since she goes in there mostly asleep, she doesn't have a problem with it. Then when she wakes up (usually around 3 or 4) I move her into her play yard in our room. And then when she wakes up the second or third time (usually around 7 AM), I just drag her into bed with us, where she snoozes off and on for another hour or two. In all, she has been sleeping at least 6 hours at a time at night, then another 3-4, plus 1-2. This is wonderful, and we thank God for her capacity to sleep at night.

Elizabeth's day-time sleep capacity is another story. I have learned to accept the fact that she sleeps no longer than 30 minutes at a time during the day. It's just the way it is, and as soon as I came to terms with that (it took me until she was 10 weeks old), I was much less stressed, since I had different expectations. Now when she sleeps longer (like 45-60 min) at a time, I am almost beside myself.

Right now, I should be making a grocery list and planning meals for the rest of the week. But since Elizabeth is in one of her naps (in her crib, I might add), I feel like it's more worth my time to record a bit about her progress as a little person. The grocery shopping will probably not get done today, anyway, so why stress? If anything, I can put her down at 9 tonight, and run out then.

Over the last few days, we have discovered that walking with the stroller outside is a secret weapon in getting E to fall asleep without nursing. On Friday she and I met Sam for lunch, and after lunch, I decided to stop in to Old Navy. While I walked through the parking lot, and then through the store, E kept getting more and more sleepy, and within about 15 minutes, she was out. So, like any sane woman, I took full advantage of the opportunity, and tried on jeans! Glory to God, I found a pair that fit wonderfully, and they are the same size I wore before she was born (albeit a slightly different shape). The same thing happened on Saturday when we went to a wedding shower for a couple at church. Elizabeth had come to the end of her rope, so I took her outside in the stroller and walked around the building a time and a half. By the time we had cooled off the car and were ready to leave, she was sleeping again.
So today we took advantage of the concept by talking a walk around the neighborhood this morning. She enjoyed the fresh air and the sights, and by the time we got back after 20 minutes, she was asleep.

Two weekends ago (Aug 29th-ish) she laughed for the first time. She had been doing a sort of squeal, which you can't really count as a laugh. This one was a full giggle: "heh-heh-heh-hehhh." Kisses make her giggle. And blowing on her chest or belly will also do the trick.

She is very good at grabbing things with her hands now; she can pull toys to her mouth, and she strains and reaches toward things that are out of her reach, especially things on the table when we sit with her on our laps. Today she was all about the allen wrench on the table while we ate lunch. We also set her in her Bumbo seat next to a fridge pack of Cokes, and she played with the box. It had a loose flap, so she maniuplated it happily for at least 7 minutes. Stuffed animals, especially a light tan puppy who jingles, are favorite toys, and she will talk to them, and lick them and smile when they "kiss" her mouth.

Elizabeth now almost entirely refuses to be reclining; she has to be sitting upright. No more of that business of laying back on my knees. Instead she pulls herself forward and wants to sit up. Because of this, we have put away her bouncy/rocker seat, and have replaced it with her Exersaucer. We call this thing her "command station" because of the way it sits her in a cockpit of sorts. She holds herself up on her feet, turning herself to play with different toys on the different sides of the "station". Sometimes her turning is accidental, but for the most part, she is very good at being in command of what she plays with. The funniest thing is that she can go around the toy a couple of times playing with its different parts before she gets bored with it. The joy of no object permanence yet is that every time she sees a different side, it's a new toy. Oh, wow, this toy is over here!

Smiling is probably Elizabeth's favorite thing to do. She smiles at faces, whether they are real people, pictures of babies, her reflection in a mirror or car window, cartoon shapes of baby faces, stuffed animals, or the dogs or cats. She loves faces. In the last few days, she has taken to smiling at Jessa, and if we're close enough, she will reach forward and pet her. Jessa has no concept that this is a human being, from whom food may be begged in the future. Oh, but she will learn.

With all of these amazing milestones, it is not hard to be more and more infatuated with this little girl. So of course, Sam and I can't keep telling each other and everyone about how wonderful she is. We're quite smitten.

Your Long Lost Coffee Buddy

For the last several weeks I have fully intended to post something, even just a picture or a sentence-long update, but even that has evaded me. I will not try to give a comprehensive update here now, because I have limited moments in which Elizabeth is currently content - or at least not upset.

Here are the highlights of the past few weeks:

Sam's parents came to visit for a week in the middle of the month. It was wonderful, and they were a huge help. Sam's mom cooked every meal for 7 days, went grocery shopping two or three times, cleaned my microwave and my stovetop, and cooed and loved on Elizabeth. Sam's dad spent hours walking with Elizabeth in his arms, just wandering and looking and rocking and humming. And Elizabeth ate up every minute of it!

There were a few times that I felt a little frustrated at having guests (in-laws, at that), being offered unsolicited advice or opinions about "you need to eat this; you'll make more milk," and having a different woman in my house and my kitchen - but, the blessing far outweighed any irritation. Now that they're home, they miss Elizabeth immensely, and I am pretty sure Elizabeth misses them, too, even though she can't articulate it yet. We were so pleased that she took to them immediately - within the first few minutes of their arrival, she was smiling at them freely.

While Sam's parents were here, they spent a great deal of time (4 meals, if I remember correctly) with my family, and both sides really enjoyed getting to know each other better.

Since they were here over a Sunday, we took the opportunity to publicly dedicate Elizabeth Hosanna at church. I wish I had time right now to put down the blessing pronounced over her, but the jist of it was - may she have the spirit of prophecy, as Elizabeth in the Bible had, and may she be filled with praise. In answer to our prayers, Elizabeth cooperated nicely by napping through worship, waking up before the dedication, not making a peep during the dedication, and then nursing through the sermon. Another family (friends of ours whose boy was born at the end of July) also dedicated their baby on the same day.

Over the summer, Sam had been working on a construction site in the ghetto of Atlanta, where it is quite dangerous to drive through, let alone work 40 hours a week (we told a friend who has been a cop for the city of Atlanta, and he said "you're working where?! I don't even go there unless I have to!"). His last day there was the Friday before his parents arrived, and then he had 2 weeks off, and now he's working 2 days a week in the office of the construction company's headquarters, just a few minutes from home. We're relieved for the change. He has also just started the last semester of school, so he should be graduating in December. Praise the Lord!

Two weeks ago Elizabeth had her 2 month appointment, complete with shots, and she did well, and is right on target growth wise. 10 lbs even, and 22".

She is drooling up a storm, and getting pretty good at bringing things to her mouth to drool on them better. She hates tummy time with a passion, but will hold herself up in a sitting position almost unassisted as long as she has something helping her balance her torso. She loves kisses, loves to 'talk' to you, and has started to notice pictures of faces and smile at them.
I'm running short on her patience now or else I would put up some pics. Perhaps later.
*edit: I got pics up :)

Where have I been?

Well, I've been here, but have not had time to write anything for a while.

So, the coffee pot is still funky, so I am using the French press exclusively, which is actually the easiest way to make coffee for one.

This morning started early, but miraculously Elizabeth is asleep again and has been for nearly an hour. Because of this, I have had a chance to have a quiet time (without interruption by a nursing child) and actually enjoy my aforementioned coffee. I also set aside 2.5 oz of milk for later. I am currently watching "The Doctors" on TV. It's my favorite show, and the only thing on TV before 8 PM that I can tolerate. I am well on my way to being a true suburban housewife; I have a Suburban, watch one show in the mornings, and clip coupons. All I need is soccer practice and a couple of twin sweater sets.

An amazing thing happened last night - I put E to bed at about 9:30/9:45, and she slept until 6:10 when Sam was rushing to get out the door for work! That is just over 8 hours! She did stir at 4, with some gas, but I waited to see if it would turn into a real cry. When she woke up again, I honestly thought it was a continuation of the same fussy moment, but it was actually 2 hours later.

Last week I had the joy of hosting my best friend, Michelle, from out of state for 5 days. It was wonderful to have her with me, and to catch up with her. We had not been together for 1-1/2 years, and that was only at a conference, so we didn't have the same time together that we normally do - chatting on the couch till all hours of the night, laughing at the silly things and sighing at the profound things we say, and watching girl movies.

Michelle is so refreshing to me; her heart is so pure toward the Lord, and she is so involved in serving in whatever way she is directed. We had loads of fun together, and we had one good, long heart-to-heart from about 11 till 1 the last evening she was here.

Next week Sam's parents will be here for a week. We'll take the opportunity while they're here to have our baby dedication at church. Hopefully we will make it on time to church that day. :)

Elizabeth is awake, so now I will go rescue her....

Smile!

Here she is at just over 5 weeks, with a happy little grin:

Coffee and such

first, let me make this disclaimer: i am typing this whole post with my left hand. right hand is supporting the eating baby. therefore there will be limited use of capital letters, and this may be shorter than usual. and there may be some blatant typos.

the coffee pot has mildew in the water reservoir and i can see it in the little window where you measure how much water is in it, or else i would make a pot for you. i've tried running vinegar through it a few times but to no avail. i'm reluctant to try bleach for fear that it would never get the flavor of bleach out. so i have been making coffee (75% decaf) for myself using a single serving french press, which i have rather enjoyed. i also bought myself a pack of those starbucks frappuccinos and am enjoying that as my morning fix today. so i'm not complaining!

the aforementioned eating baby is days away from being 6 weeks old. it is ridiculous how quickly she is growing. i have no idea how much she weighs, since our home scale is retarded and no 2 measurements are the same even within the same 2 minute span. but she's eating, filling diaper after diaper, getting bigger, and growing out of some of her clothes.

she smiles now! not very often yet, and usually only at me, though she did give daddy a big ol' grin last night which made his day. she is also figuring out that there is some way to control those appendages attached to her shoulders--her hands make her way to her mouth fairly often, and she chomps on them till she realizes they don't give her anything.

i'm doing well today. the whole nursing thing is finally starting to get under control. i am just getting over a bout of thrush, which was pretty miserable; we also have not had to use the shield for almost 2 days, which will make things so much easier in the long run.

i'm praying for 2 of my pregnant friends today: one is overdue and has been very uncomfortable for the last month - or more. we're praying for her body to kick into labor, or she's about to throw herself down the stairs.
the other is not quite 3 weeks from her due date and just discovered her baby is breech. they're giving the baby a few days to flip over, and will figure out where to go from there. clearly we're praying her baby turns head-down and she can have her baby and not have to recover from surgery as well as figure out the mom thing all at once.

Don't be like this holiday reveler...

We like to call this "Milk Drunk" ...